Connecticut

I've written a bit on here about our struggles with our son, who has an autism spectrum disorder. He also has problems with depression and anxiety. And I wonder a lot about how he is going to make it in the world. At 17 years old, he lives with his sister. We have high hopes of him being accepted to a private college with a program for students with Autism for the fall. That will sort him out for a while-- as long as he chooses to go to class. As long as he chooses to turn in his work. As long as he chooses to cooperate. And maybe that will be a long time. Four years even. Maybe he will graduate with a bachelor's degree, get a job and make his own way.

Maybe.

But if not?

I don't know. We are worn out. He can't move back in with us as any kind of long term thing. We still have another child at home. Even when she is grown, there is my sanity to think of.

There are no programs for adults who are mentally ill but intellectually functioning. (If you know of any, please leave a comment!)

Here is the thing: I don't think I am a bad parent. I have a 19 year old daughter who is a junior in college with a full ride scholarship (with a stipend), two part time jobs, and who likes to volunteer. I have a ten year old daughter who is a joy to be around, if she is a little bit hyperactive. I have a stepdaughter whom I helped raise who is a midwife and doula and a devoted church member. I am a teacher. I have students who come back to see me and who cite me as an influence in their lives. I don't feel like a failure as a parent or a mentor.

For the most part.

But I still don't know what to do about my son. I just continue to pray that I never see his name in the news.