Sunday, September 04, 2016

Hiatus, explained

A lot has happened since I took an unplanned hiatus. My PhD program decided that my progress was not sufficient. So that ended in May 2015.

My mom got sicker. Her chemo quit holding the cancer at bay. She died on June 27, 2016. I'm still reeling. She and I were always close. I saw here every day when she was in the hospital and when she was in rehab. I was with her when she died.

My dad is struggling on. He found a new house just a couple of weeks after she died, which needed work. Miss O and I have spend a lot of time over there working on it-- painting walls, scraping wallpaper, shopping for new lights and fixtures.

Pretending we are okay.

I spend a lot of time pretending to be okay. I'm not, of course. I am not sure if/when I will be. My friend Steve tells me that I'll never stop missing her, never stop thinking, "Oh, I need to ask Mom..." He hasn't. And he's probably right.