Adventures in Computing

I have a lovely custom desktop at my house. I built it. So I really chose carefully what goes in it. It has two gigabyte of memory and a 250 gigabyte hard drive.

I have a teenaged son. He likes to look at p*rn. Animated p*rn, to be precise. I found this out because he likes to look at it on my computer. This bothers me because this is not the p*rn that I remember my brother and my guy friends looking at. Evidently, tasteful p*rn is more expensive than really tacky p*rn produced by drunken amateurs. I was of course, horrified. What mother wouldn't be? Especially since, and this is important, it is on my computer. In my cache. Popping up when I am trying to do other things. So I bought Cybersitter. I did my research. It claimed to block sites that I wanted to block and allow sites that I wanted to allow. And sure 'nuff; it did. For months.

Then it started malfunctioning. Someone, somewhere, forgotten to share with me an important truth: Norton 360 and parental control software cannot exist on the same computer at the same time. If an unsuspecting person tries to force them to, one of them explodes. I have had this experience before, with daughters instead of software, and a single bedroom instead of a computer. A similar result ensued, though, and we moved into a house with an extra bedroom.

So I try to uninstall Cybersitter. But I had waited too late. There was no patching things up at this point. Cybersitter and Norton 360 were duking it out. They were headed to divorce court. But neither one would leave the house.

So not only do I have these two programs completely blocking my access to the internet (and my email-- this marks me as a digital immigrant), but in trying to use the Repair function that comes with Cybersitter, it got stuck in a loop, refreshing an "information" box (a.k.a., an idiot box) every second. So I couldn't do anything on my computer. I could not get Cybersitter to open up to disable it.

Then I do what any self-respecting nerd would do: I try to boot Windows in Safe Mode. Not happening. Cybersitter had hijacked my safe mode. Fine, I thought. I went into my BIOS to changed the boot order. The computer should not have been able to boot from my hard drive.

But it did.

At that point, I gave up. We took it to the shop. They were able to work their magic and uninstall the divorcing programs. This magic, however, was not free. I spent $40 on the program and $50 removing it.

And now, I am back to having to look at a Princess Jasmine, topless.

Lots of family time

Everyone was over at one point or another today, since it was W's birthday. The house, of course, is a wreck, but at least the seating areas were cleaned off by the time everyone got here. Dad helped Todd cut a tree and put up cement board in the bathroom. We still need to replace the window with glass block, but that will be a pain, so I am avoiding it. After the window, we (read I) will have to tile the surround. I am avoiding that, too.

Todd is changing sheets, because he told me two days ago that he would. He didn't actually mean it, as it turns out, but I'm holding him to it (I hate changing sheets-- cleaning the bathroom I don't mind so much). So he is fussing at me to find stuff and is making snorting noises as he works so I will fully understand how vexed he is.

Now that the bed is made, I am going to get it in. Today has been a long day.

Birthday Party

So, to appease Olivia, I told her that we would actually have a party. And I actually emailed my friends to invite them and their kids. Thinking, who would come on a Thursday afternoon with three days' notice?, I invited all my friends. Well, shockingly, almost everyone was free. So, like, 30 are saying that they are showing up for our party. A lot of those people are kids. Like 13. This is totally out of hand. I really cannot believe that no one has anything better to do an a Thursday. Maybe they couldn't get the hang of Thursdays either.

I have done all the shopping and put together treat bags. I have tons of chips and sodas. I have meat. And potato salad. I need to make slaw to go with it... And tomorrow I'll pick up the cake.

Tomorrow is the last day that W's teachers are collecting grades. Friday is the last day that I am taking him to school. The last week (after Memorial Day) is scheduled to be activities anyway, so he won't be missing out on education, really. And he will be missing lots and lots of unstructured, under-supervised time that is just waiting for him to get in trouble...

Pretending I have readers...

My computer dried out, eventually. The trackpad is still a little sticky, but serviceable once more. If I can just get W through this week, all will be good. Next week is all "enrichment" and I am just keeping him home. It is just not worth the hassle.

We got our new phones in, and I discovered that I do not have bluetooth on any computer in my house. So I am going to have to buy the stupid communication kit, at some point (possibly when the rebates come in), but in the meantime, I bought a Billy Idol, Generation X era, ring tone... "Dancing with Myself." I filtered out a lot of more risque music... No "Pour Some Sugar on Me" accidentally going off at work, thank you very much.

I went to the post office this morning to attempt to acquire some correct postage. This is easier said than done. All the stamp machines were broken, to one degree or another. The one cent machine was not giving change... fine, I thought I would just live with 25 1c stamps. But no, alas, the machine would only dispense up to 10. Fine, I thought, I could donate an additional 15c so that I could mail my bills. So I am tying in 10, the stupid machine gives me 1. One one-cent stamp for 25c. That is not enough for me to mail my bills, however. (One bill is for $1.08-- it is almost costing me as much to *mail* it as the entire bill is!) So I feed the machine a dime... And request 9 stamps (see, I am learning) which I received.

Because I am a complete masochist, I agree to throw a birthday party for Olivia. She has been wanting one since last fall, when we attended Cindy's kids' party, then demand quadrupled when her friend Ashton had a party. So. There we go. I have invited 15 kids-- those numbers do add up fast. Only 8 have RSVPd so far. But I also invited all the kids' adults. So we will be having lots of people. And truthfully? I'd rather just have my friends-- the usual suspects that show up for lunch, but the wishes of the 5 yo should probably be satisfied on her birthday...

My birthday, on the other hand, will have grownups. A very few, well-liked grownups.