A Rhetorical Question

Time Machine in a Legal Pad

2012-01-30T11:35:00.000-08:00

There is nothing quite like stumbling up on an old notebook. I have rarely used separate notebooks based on subjects or even projects. Instead, whatever is on my mind during a particular time seems to migrate itself onto the pages of the notebook (or legal pad) of the moment.

Take the one I found today. In its pages nestle a book idea, free writing from writing along with students, perhaps, or just killing time, notes about an extinct publication that I was once part of, email addresses of students long graduated, notes from articles that I read, notes from a class that I was taking and notes from a class that I teaching, a phone message, and notes from a presentation that I gave.

From the class notes, I would place this notebook in 2007. I was in my second semester of my PhD program in my first class with Stephanie, Hannah and Vince.

A Week Later

2012-01-20T10:39:00.000-08:00

I've been actually tracking my food since I wrote last, and have lost another pound. Maybe Weight Watchers in my head is not as good as Weight Watchers in my computer.

I've survived the second week of the semester, and I survived session three of some professional development that I have been doing at the local high school. I am so glad that contract is almost done.

I've at least looked at my dissertation lately, which is something. I am hung up on figuring out how much sewing women actually did at home before paper patterns and sewing machines. I feel like it is important to have that bit of information. How else can I talk about the rhetorical construction of "work"? And how women's identity were defined? That seems to be important to me.

How does this happen?

2012-01-13T10:36:00.000-08:00

How on earth does 8 months go by before I post?

I think that I am too busy living life right now to sit down and reflect. Work. Kids. PhD (ha!).

I should report that Weight Watchers Online has been a success. I've lost about 30 lbs, but then I've stalled. I wish that I could make myself get serious about it again. Fine. I'll go track yesterday's food.

Done.

See? I need more reflection in my life.

Now, of course, I need to eat (something healthy!) and go teach my last class.

Autism Awareness Day

2011-04-04T06:49:00.000-07:00

Every day is autism awareness day at my house. My autism awareness is aided and abetted by my son, who has autism. He is 6'4" and weighs close to 300 lbs. He's hard to miss.

Turns out, autism (well Asperger's), is not the hardest thing about living with my son. I mean, we're kind of a quirky family, all in all. (They say that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, after all.)

But the past couple of years, I would say since 8th grade, the boy has been depressed. Severely depressed. Keep in mind, he has been seeing therapists on and off since 7th grade, now. I suggested, during a family session (because secretly, the therapist thought I was the crazy one), that W might be depressed. The therapist paused, and said, "I can see that" and spoke to the psychiatrist about Celexa. (Really? What was I driving to Little Rock and paying that man for, anyway?) The Celexa helped. For a while.

Fast forward to last year. W is going into 10th grade. We ended up having to get the courts involved because he was knocking holes in the walls and occasionally striking myself or the girls. He was completely out of control.

We found a new therapist, through a tip from the wife of a former student of mine who is a psychiatric resident in another state. The therapist is very behavior-focused which is wonderful.

With the new therapist came a new psychiatrist, who played with the dosages a bit.

That went on for a few months. In January, though, W became suicidal, and got a few days at Methodist, where they changed is anti-depressant and took him completely off of stimulant medication. He's on Wellbutrin and Abilify. There is night and day difference. Suddenly, the suggestions that his therapist made are working, and he is back to being a wonderful kid. Now, he is still a teenager. Still a bit socially awkward. Still a bit lazy. And disorganized. We've been using Flylady to help with the organization. And Parenting With Love And Logic to help with general parenting. But now the programs are helping.

Mostly just a ramble

2011-03-26T13:38:00.000-07:00

Today, I got my hair cut, which was long overdue. Now if I could just get motivated to color it, I'd be in business.

My current project is rehabbing a couple of American Girl Kirstens that I bought on eBay. One of them, I knew was a Kirsten. She even had her "meet" dress. But some darling child had styled her hair in what can only be called dreadlocks. Her hair is dried out and in really terrible shape. The other one came in modern jeans, tennis shoes, and a jacket. It was billed as a "Just Like You" doll, which is one of the modern ones that have a variety of eye and hair colors to match the girl they are intended for. But she is also a Kirsten. And her hair is in much better shape. Mea and I have washed it, sprayed it with vinyl restorer and will probably get her ready to sell on eBay next week. I am hoping for a nice return on her, since Kirsten dolls are retired. The other one? I don't know. Her hair is soaking in Downy right now, which is really a "last resort" kind of treatment for doll hair. If it works, I probably sell her, too. I could sell her anyway. I saw a doll listed for "parts" sell for more than either of these did.

An old friend came over last night. He is grad school, so he had spring break, too, and spent at least part of the week with his family, who live about a half-hour away. Yesterday, though, he came to visit his friends here in town. It was so nice to see him and just visit. :)

Really, that is all that is going on. Oh, except my daughter's boyfriend broke up with her yesterday. Really, how is that to top off the week she's had?

Spring Break, Part II

2011-03-24T18:40:00.000-07:00

First thing, Wednesday morning, Mea got a phone call from her friend, R. R had called to tell her that two of their friends, who were brothers, had been in a wreck. The younger brother, Jacob, was dead, and the older one was in the hospital. As the day went on, it became apparent that the older brother, Keith, wasn't going to make it, either. He passed away Wednesday afternoon.

Mea has not really lost anyone to death, other than her grandmother. But her death was hardly a surprise. Mamaw had brain cancer, so we all knew that it was coming. At the end, she couldn't even talk, which hurt her and hurt us to watch.

The death of these two young men, though, was unexpected. They were young. They never got into any trouble. They didn't drink or even dance. They were what we all hope are children turn out to be. Their lives ended so unexpectedly and so quickly-- they were just out running around on the back roads. Keith was driving with one of his college friends in the front, while Jacob and another friend were riding in the back. (I cannot tell you how many times I've ridden in the back of a pickup.) Keith lost control of the pickup and it rolled several times.

And they died. On Tuesday they were here and yesterday they were gone.

Two of my colleagues had Keith in their comp classes this year. By their accounts, he was a smart, dedicated, hard-working kid. He was acting in a film that one of my friends is making for her thesis.

He leaves a hole in our college, our town, his church, and in the lives of his friends.

Jacob, Mea says, is a "great big puppy dog." A "Labrador retriever" she says. Always upbeat, kind, sweet. He was in band and his locker was near Mea's.

The funeral is Monday-- after school. School on Monday, though, will feel hollow.

I doubt Tuesday will be much better.

Spring Break, Part I

2011-03-24T18:09:00.000-07:00

This week has been a busy one. Mea and I went to Norman, Oklahoma to visit the University of Oklahoma. We left Sunday night, and came back Monday night. I have to say, I've been on a few campus tours, and OU knows how do a tour.

Tuesday morning, we got up and drove to Kansas City to see my husband's mother, Mabel, who is in a nursing home there. She has Parkinson's disease and Alzheimer's. My sister in law, L, manages her care, and spends a lot of time at the facility. She also pays a couple of women to come in a stay with Mabel. Mabel, however, is difficult to be with. She is agitated, and really doesn't know why.

She's just moved to a new unit, the Memory Care unit, on Monday because she needed more oversight than she was getting in assisted living. She's not adjusting terribly well to the new unit. She wants to get up and walk, she wants to be wheeled to different places.

On Wednesday, Todd spend the day with his mother and gave L a break. She got to go home and spend some time at her home, which was nice. Todd, however, had a pretty miserable time of it. His mother has always lacked tact, and losing the controls that helped her keep her quiet has only added to her bluntness. Several times, she asked Todd when his sister was coming back. She also asked when his wife was coming to pick him up.

I can't say either of them enjoyed the visit, but L enjoyed having a break, as well as having someone understand what she goes through. Every.Single.Day.

Weight Watchers update...

2011-02-07T21:09:00.000-08:00

I've been on Weight Watchers for three weeks and have lost five pounds. This may be as well as I have ever done on a diet, except Phase 1 of South Beach. But South Beach leaves me light headed after a day or two. So I am avoiding it.

WW is not without it's challenges, though. Some points sneak up when I am not expecting them. (Mac & Cheese is 11 points? Really? Homemade chocolate chip cookies are only that high if I eat six.) I am often a little hungry. Quick fixes for hunger, like nuts or peanut butter, have points that start high and add up quickly. I should learn to eat carrot sticks when I am hungry. Today, unfortunately, I chose to eat a cupcake instead.

Regardless, I now weigh less than I did when I took my comps, a year ago. I would really like to lose another 15 or so pounds and get down to the weight I was before I started studying for the comps.

What I'd really like to do is get down to the weight that I was when we moved back to Arkansas after Miss O was born... But that is a goal that will likely take exercise and a lot of it.

Weight Watchers

2011-02-02T12:37:00.000-08:00

At the point that my fat clothes were only kind of buttoning, I had to do something.

We had paid to subscribe Todd to Weight Watchers for a while. He has sleep apnea, and his doctor told him that if were to lose weight, he could also lose his bi-pap machine. This summer, though, he switched to a gluten-free diet. With the gluten-free diet and the subsequent elimination of all things made of flour, he was losing enough weight that he did not feel that he need to use Weight Watchers. I, however, forgot to cancel the automatic payment.

When January came around, and I decided to get serious about losing weight, I hopped onto his Weight Watchers account and changed everything but the name.

I started on January 18th, right after the "new" points system started. Unaware of the change, I logged in, typed in my vitals and how much I wanted to lose. Weight Watchers oh-so-generously gave me 29 points. (As nearly as I can tell, that puts me at about 1200 calories a day, plus weekly points.)

Then I saw that my Lean Cuisine lunch, three tiny "Thai-style" spring rolls were five points. I was still starving. I wanted to cry. A granola bar would be another five points. Anything from the vending machine would start from five and go up. So I starved.

I think I have it sorted out a bit better now, though. I figured out what the weekly points were and how they worked. And "free" (zero point) fruit is kind of a godsend. Unfortunately, I tend to hoard the points, and then splurge on the last day before they expire. And, the points expire the day before weigh in. I've done two full weeks and two weigh-ins. I have weighed more at weigh-in than on any other day in the week.

But, I weighed less at Monday's weigh in than I did the previous Monday. I guess as long as the overall trend is down, I'll be okay.

I'm not promising to be happy about it though.

Long overdue update...

2011-01-25T18:59:00.000-08:00

We're still working with our son's psychiatrist to sort out medications. That leaves our lives kind of chaotic.

Just in case I don't have enough trauma, I decided to start a diet. It takes a solid level of obsession to make this work. I have to do something, though. I have gained about 40-45 pounds since starting my PhD. I am not happy with the way I look in my clothes. My blood pressure tends to run a little high, and I am concerned about my blood sugar. So it seems like obsession may be necessary.

Library Books

2011-01-11T16:37:00.000-08:00

I went to the local library the other day and paid my fine, so I am once more able to check books out of the county library.

Here's a rundown of some of what I checked out and my assessment.

The Sewing Machine Guide: Tips on Choosing, Buying and Refurbishing by John Giordano is dated. It was written in 1997, so anything about prices is way off. (A sewing machine that can interface with your computer is priced at about $4,000.) It has a lot of basic information, though, about the different brands and the capabilities to expect. It also gives basic information about how to maintain a machine. The maintenance information, though, is minimal.

I also checked out The Gluten-Free Gourmet Cooks Fast and Healthy: Wheat-Free Recipes with Less Fuss and Less Fat by Bette Hagman. Since my husband and son went Gluten Free last spring, I've been mostly cooking food they can eat. I have couple of cookbooks, but they are far from simple to use. I checked this out in hopes of finding the "less fuss" advertised in the title.

While it did have some useful recipes (I can count them on my fingers), I was not impressed overall. Many of the recipes rely on mixes that should be made in advance. This seemed like unnecessary complication. Compared to other books, this seems fussy. It also relies a *lot* on bean flours, which are not easy to get where I live.

Confession

2010-10-09T18:25:00.000-07:00

I haven't written much lately. Part of that is because I feel guilty when I am writing anything other than a dissertation proposal. Part of it, though, is just been because I've been hiding.

I've shared here, and elsewhere, a bit about my son, who has a pervasive developmental disorder. The actual diagnosis varies between PDD-NOS (pervasive developmental disroder-- not otherwise specified) and an atypical presentation of Asperger's syndrome. He's always been emotionally immature. I'm sure that in that way, he'll eventually catch up. The problem for us has been that he has been tantruming. Yelling, screaming, sulling up and refusing to move tantruming. He has shoved his sister and myself. He's broken things and punched holes in our walls. We have to replace his bedroom door, and have had to patch holes in our front hall and kitchen door.

In so many ways, he has terrorized us.

The thing is, the root cause may have been his ADHD medicine. Our pediatrician and we were looking for a medication that lasted longer than Concerta. We tried one, but it had a lot of side effects. Then we tried another. It looked like it worked great. He was able to fly through his work, when he bothered to do it.

He was still losing work, and he refused to turn in partial work, so he was barely passing some of his classes. We tried making his work his responsibility, but the teachers would ask his dad, so my husband would end up going through W's locker or backpack and turning in W's work for him.

But things were getting worse at home. He was tired all the time, and irritable. He was also depressed.

This past May, we moved him to a gluten free diet. That helped some with the energy, but not the irritability. I wondered if he might be schizophrenic.

I almost had to put off taking my comps. Every time I sat down to work, something would set him off. And he would have a tantrum, and my concentration would be shot for the rest of the night.

We've been at our wit's end. We finally tried the Walker Family Clinic in Little Rock, the the recommendation of an acquaintance of mine who is studying to be a doctor. The therapist there was the second one who suggested that we get the court involved, so we did. The court oversees W's progress in school, and we are to call the officer if W is belligerent or violent.We've been working with them since July.

Last week, W told me that he only had one pill left of his ADHD medication. So I told him to not take it Sunday, but save it for school Monday. On Sunday, he was noticeably easier to get along with. He took all his antidepressants, but not his ADHD medication. Noticeably better attitude. Noticeably less agitated. He voluntarily worked all day on a construction project with his dad, without asking to be paid.

Monday, he took his pill and it was back to normal. He went without ADHD medication on Tuesday and Wednesday, and went to see his psychiatrist on Thursday. The psychiatrist was going to suggest a change in medication before we mentioned it, but we were both in absolute agreement. Now, he is back on Concerta.

We've not had a blow-up this week.

We may be able to achieve something close to normal. (Although one of my Facebook friends points out that "Normal" is only a dryer setting).

Nothing to Say...

2010-05-25T19:42:00.000-07:00

I am coming to the conclusion that if I wait until I have something to say, it will be weeks before I write anything. But since I wrote yesterday, I thought I might write again today.

At work, I am still working on finishing up assessment. The results are compiled, but now I'm trying to find "representative papers" as well as papers that are problematic. That is, they have significant strengths but also significant weaknesses, which makes them hard to grade.

Assessment sucks my brain. My energy. My ability to think.

Mea and I have been watching the first season of Mad Men. Todd, of course, hates it. He idealizes the 1950s and early 1960s, when the economy was good. And, of course, women stayed home and cooked and cleaned. Of course, women in my family, worked on the farm or what-ever kind of factory they could get. My grandparents also cut staves and sheared wool. Personally, I don't see much to idealize from that time at all, except the dresses.

And, oh, the dresses are sweet on Mad Men. So lovely. I would love to be able to shop in their costume department. I adore the fitted tops and full skirts.

The show itself? Too much soap opera for my taste. And too depressing to even be a good soap. I prefer my soaps a lot less dark.

Graves are imporant

2010-05-23T21:54:00.000-07:00

Graves are important to us hill-folk. Tending to those who have gone on before reinforces our connection to the past. I remember being little and my mamaw taking me to the cemetery to "work the graves" of her parents, grandparents, and siblings. We also usually made it over to see to her father-in-law's grave as well. All had to look good for "Decoration Day" when people might be coming to visit the cemeteries.

This week, my high-school friend Amy went to check on her mother-in-law's grave. (Her mother-in-law is Arvilla, whom I've written about before.) Anyway, Amy and Sonya (Arvilla's daughter) had put a ceramic angel on the grave, and someone threw it out. I am sure that it was some teenage boy or other that they paid minimum wage to clean up the cemetery.

Because a lot of us don't do it any more. I never go up and tend to the graves. My mom and my aunt do, I guess. Although I'll ask about it, I won't go check and make sure they did.

When they are gone, though, I guess I'll have to. I can't imagine anyone else would.

What I Learned From Roadrunner

2010-03-03T09:43:00.000-08:00

For better or worse, my comps are done. Unless, of course, I failed, in which case the whole thing starts all over again.

Anyway, Monda suggested that I write something frivolous. While I didn't actually write anything new, I found this in my notebook that I wrote with my freshmen class. We were responding to one of Monda's Easy Street Prompts.

We only got two channels on television: 3 and 10. These were the Springfield Missouri affiliates for NBC and CBS. My dad did not really "believe" in television, but kept one for the nightly news. Our television watching was pretty limited, when I was young. But we were allowed to watch all the television we wanted on Saturday mornings. So we watched whatever came on.

Evidently, Looney Tunes were cheap. They were certainly widely available. Looney Tunes came on every Saturday morning-- sometimes twice. There was the Bugs Bunny Road Runner Hour on channel 10 and then the Children's Hour on channel 3 also showed Looney Toons cartoons, as well as Davey and Goliath. Roadruner was my least favorite of all these. It bothered me, what happened to Wile E. Coyote, Super Genius. I felt sorry for him. After all, I grew up in a world where people hunted for their meat, so I didn't find it all that bad that Coyote wanted to eat the bird. But I did learn some important lessons from the show, nonetheless.

This is what I learned.

I learned that being smart is one thing, but being clever is quite another.
Life rarely works out like it does on paper.
We rarely make good decisions when we are hungry.
Machines are only as good as the operator.
I learned not to believe advertising. People who are selling things do not have my best interests at heart.
Some name brands can't be trusted.
If the first anvil that I buy from ACME explodes, so will the second.
Never buy anything from my enemies.
And, most importantly, I learned that the deck is stacked. Not everyone gets an even playing field.
And some people just go hungry at the end of the day, no matter how hard they work.

While there were certainly shows that I enjoyed more growing up, I am not sure that any other show taught me so much about life.

Aakk!

2010-01-26T20:17:00.000-08:00

My qualifying exams are scheduled for the end of February.

That is a month away.

One month.

Before I take my test.

The test that determines whether or not I become a PhD candidate.

I get one more chance, if I fail this one. But just one.

And every day I wait is one day further away from the classes that I took.

Aakkk. Aarrg. Eeek!

Tables turned...

2010-01-25T18:00:00.000-08:00

Today, I was sitting in a meeting, and there was a student standing outside the door, waiting. After the meeting was done, I nudged my friend and co-worker, since the student was obviously waiting for her. Turns out, it was her daughter, who looked so different that I hardly recognized her. She's in danger of being dropped from her classes because she missed last week because her two-year-old was in the hospital and she could not bring herself to leave his side.

It is rather startling to see a student in my university, if not my class, so starkly from her mother's point of view. Of course, I walked away and gave them their privacy, but not before I saw the concern on my friend's face. Concern for her daughter who, in being a good mom, seems to be in trouble as a student.

I have to wonder what is going on with my colleagues in other departments? This young woman is bright, a brilliant writer (although I won't link to her blog here, out of respect for her privacy). I had two children before I graduated with my BA. I don't know that I could have done that if I had not had wonderful, understanding professors. Professors who held my work to high standards, but were flexible about some deadlines. Professors who encouraged me to finish college, despite my choices. Professors who believed in me. I wish my friend's daughter such professors, although I am afraid she's not as fortunate.

I wish her luck. And I wish both her and her baby good health for the entirety of the semester.

Pleasant Weekend...

2010-01-23T19:18:00.000-08:00

It has been relatively slow this weekend (so far). Both girls spent the night with friends last night, and W wasn't feeling well, so he was kind of quiet. My husband and I watched Frank Sinatra and Shirley McClain in Can-Can. Then we watched Holmes on Homes.

Saturday was kind of laid back, too. W had quiz bowl, so T took him out early to catch the bus. They won, by the way. This has been W's week-- he placed second in his district in FBLA in network security. T and I hung out and watched A&E for a while. Then, of course, we had to start collecting the girls. Mea and I ran to Children's Place to pick up a gift certificate for my friend's twin girls' birthday. Then we stopped by Sally to pursue her quest for purple hair (a pretty purple-- not a blue).

We were planning to go grocery shopping this evening at Sam's Club, but the torrential rain kept us in. Instead, I am watching Caprica. Not sure how I feel about that, yet. I skipped the Battlestar Galactica revival, mostly out of respect for the original. I love the original Battlestar Galactica, which I almost completely missed in its original run, because we didn't the channel that it aired on. But love it I did. I watched it in reruns and on SciFi channel marathons. I feared the revival. Years later, The Prisoner was certainly a disappointment. I watched part of it, but found myself just not caring what happened.

Caprica, however, has no such baggage. It is set in the Battlestar Galactica universe, but is all backstory. As I said, I haven't yet decided an opinion. It lacks spaceships, but does appear to be on a different planet. A lot of the plot seems to revolve around a virtual reality Second Life kind of environment. But I am also seeing robots. Robots are good.

Steampunk Laptop

2010-01-19T12:48:00.000-08:00

This beauty is from Datamancer. I am always amazed by what creative people can do when they decide to. Really, who ever would have thought of modding a computer to ~~look~~ be Steampunk?

Datamancer sells these gems either by special order or on ebay. The late, great Victoria magazine (I have not even looked at the recent revival) used to have a theme that women should follow their bliss-- do what makes them happy. They would profile women who were making a living (or at least an income) owning businesses where they sold things or services that they believed in. Small runs and special orders were, of course, most common. But what makes these business special are that they are created by someone who loves them. The owners love the products and (generally) love their customers.

I can see Datamancer fitting right in.

(And for my friend the typewriter fanatic, Datamancer also makes keyboards.)

Meme Oddness

2010-01-18T07:15:00.000-08:00

The Internets are a strange place, indeed. Here a a couple of sites that prove that beyond doubt:

I'm not referring to memes in the sense of "List 25 Random Facts About Yourself" but rather in the Dawkins sense of "Bits of Culture," kind of like genes are bits of life.

The month that I am a gardener...

2010-01-10T16:39:00.000-08:00

Some days, I channel my late grandmother. When this becomes painfully apparent is when seed catalogs come in. Burgess is the first one to hit my mailbox this season. I have about $70 worth of plants picked out, but see that it has a lousy reputation. Who knew seed companies had ratings?

I think, though, somewhere I'll order some Apache Blackberries. They are thornless, and goodness knows, I like to be able to pick blackberries in the summer. I prefer, though, to skip the ticks, chiggers, snakes, and thorns, if I can. So maybe I'll plant me one of these in my back yard. Unfortunately, companies that actually send plants, charge more for them. So I am not sure how many I can afford. Now, I am seeing that all the catalogs we used to get: Henry Field, Gurney, Spring Hill and others were all bought by one company and don't send out high quality plants any more. The one that I wanted to order from, Burgess, seems to be less that 50% in sending out viable plants.

I guess I'll have to wait patiently, and shop local. But really, what does local mean? Wal-Mart? Home Depot? Lowe's? Those are hardly local. Plant Outlet is pricey but everything I've bought there lives... Decisions decisions...

I did fine one immediately useful thing today: Conway is in zone 7. I've never been able to read those stupid maps, because they don't list the counties. But this site told me. Now I am informed.

Last night

2009-12-20T14:48:00.000-08:00

Last night, Mea got a phone call from a friend. They were chatting when he drove up to his driveway. At that point, she could hear the parents berating the young man (I'll call him "J.") The took his phone, demanded that he surrender his truck keys and they sent him out into the cold night.

His transgression? Texting his boyfriend.

Of course, after hearing this, she and I got into my aging van and starting trying to find him. She called her network of friends, and found out where he lived, and we headed that way. We pulled into a nice subdivision off Hwy 25 and drove til we saw his truck.

There we met his parents, who apparently realized what they had done. They were also driving around. They flagged us down (we had stopped outside their house) and told us a cock and bull story about him getting mad and running away. (They had told him to start walking and that he could just move in with whoever picked him up-- Mea heard J's mother screaming this). We said we'd call if we found him.

We drove around the likely places that he could walk to, then Mea got a text from another friend saying that he was with her.

Relieved, we bought some ice cream and came home.

But I can't stop worrying. Evidently, all is well today. He has his phone back, and probably his truck. But it was cold out last night.

And I am afraid that his home is a pretty cold place to be any day.

Amusement/Tourture of Choice

2009-11-17T06:38:00.000-08:00

Every morning, a couple of newspapers deliver their headlines to my email. One, the one I never fail to open, is the Harrison Daily Times. I did my student teaching there in 1998 and subbed at the junior high for most of a semester in 1999. I worked at American Freightways before it became FedEx Freight. It is also the daily newspaper from close to where I grew up. (Understand that "close" is a relative term.) They also publish the Newton County Times, which tends to publish more stories about people I know, but it only comes out weekly.

Of course, all the friends that I had from Harrison when I was young have moved away, so those aren't the people I read about. My relatives and childhood friends from "home," however, are occasionally mentioned. The cousins with untreated ADHD,depression and other problems that drive them to self-medicate. Self-medication is expensive, so that drives them to manufacture and sell products in order to imbibe.

I truly believe better mental health screening would solve a lot of this. And some kind of job program. Something certainly needs to be done, because the drug problems are becoming generational. What used to be a few bootleggers getting into a bit of trouble turned in to marijuana growers and has evolved into meth manufacturing.

I know there are people who would like to turn the area into a giant National Park or something, but I would really like to see small-scale manufacturing return. Throw in mandatory drug testing. But people need jobs and dignity. Not weed and meth.

Another one gone...

2009-11-13T16:01:00.000-08:00

Our friend and neighbor Conard Middleton died this week. He was 86. He was a lifelong Republican and long time member of the Newton County Quorum Court-- a JP.

The reason that I tell you that he was a Republican is because my Papaw was a Democrat. In the world where I grew up, such designations mattered. A lot. Such things determine if your road gets maintained and what jobs are open to you.

But Conard was bigger than that. He cared about people more than parties. I know that he called over a time or two to someone to get them to grade our road, because when the "wrong" party was in charge, our gravel road sometimes became virtually impossible to traverse in a car. And my mom always drove a car, in the days before quad-cab pickups and SUVs. (She still drives a car-- better gas mileage.)

And, when I was a beginning driver, I spilled some hot tea on myself and landed my dad's car in a ditch. And he pulled me out, and never called my parents.

That, my friends, is a good man.

Ex-relatives in trouble...

2009-11-04T07:24:00.000-08:00

From Harrison Daily Times

Middletons arrested on meth charges
By JAMES L. WHITE
Published: Wednesday, November 4, 2009 6:10 AM

JASPER — A Mt. Judea man, who escaped from custody while officers executed a search warrant at his home, and his wife were being held in jail on methamphetamine-related charges Tuesday evening.

Newton County Sheriff Keith Slape said officers from his department, the 14th Judicial Task Force, Boone County Sheriff's Office, Marion County Sheriff's Office, Arkansas Game and Fish, Arkansas State Police, and the U.S. Drug Enforcement Agency executed the search warrant at the home of David Middleton, 53, and his wife, Rhonda, 48, Monday.

Both Middletons were taken into custody at the time, but Slape said that when officers prepared to transport them to jail they found that David Middleton, who was barefooted, without a shirt and in handcuffs, had fled.

The Baxter County Sheriff's helicopter assisted in the search for him, along with the bloodhound team from the Arkansas Department of Correction.

Slape said David Middleton was found about a quarter of a mile away at another residence and was taken into custody Monday evening.

Both Middletons were being held in the Boone County Jail for Newton County on Monday and face meth delivery charges, officials said.

Slape said the U.S. Marshals Service also placed a hold on David Middleton.

The thing is, I thought David was arrested a few weeks ago for meth. Evidently, the sheriff let him out. At what point do they decide that he is an escape risk? I thought he ran off and hid last time they tried to arrest him?

Really, it wouldn't bother me a bit if they locked David up and threw away the key. I completely blame his shenanigans for my cousin Shannon (David's son) being murdered.

Stealing a moment

2009-10-06T21:27:00.001-07:00

I should be asleep. Barring that, I should be reading for my comps. Or doing laundry. Or something productive.

Instead, I am sitting on the loveseat, indulging in a guilty pleasure.

I feel like I am trapped in shoulds. Shoot, I know I am. I should be a better teacher, better student, better mother. My house should be neater, my papers graded faster, I should be thinner, more patient.

I am completely aware that my expectations are excessive. If anyone else were trying to do everything I try to do, I would tell them that they are nuts. I, however, feel that I ought to manage.

And really, I should. You know, my great grandmothers raised everything their families put in their mouths. They got up before everyone else so that there was breakfast before they went out to the fields to work. They built fires to cook on and hauled water to cook with and wash up with. They hauled their laundry to the creek to wash it on a rub board for god's sake.

Comps? I should be able to breeze through them, right? With one hand on a mop and the other grasping an outline for the perfect answer? Whatever.

Wierder family stuff...

2009-09-19T18:51:00.000-07:00

So that guy? From Atkins. Half a state away from anyone Todd could possibly be related to. Bizarrely, though, their ancestors came from the same county in Tennessee. Really, this gets more and more odd. There is *no* reason for this guy to know anything about Todd. But, from time to time, he just seems to know things about people.

My granny was like that. She was certain that it was "of the devil" so she ignored stuff that she knew... "fought it" my mom says. But she couldn't resist where her older son, my great uncle Everett, was concerned. From the devil or not, she worried about Everett and needed to know. Everett drank too much, and seemed to always be in some sort of trouble or another. For instance, he was with the CCC in Oklahoma, and for all anyone knew, he was fine. Except, one day, Granny told everyone that Everett was coming home soon. Everyone thought she was nuts. Until he came home. He had been thrown out of the CCC. I have to kind of wonder what he must have done, because as I understand it, the CCC took about everyone, and I've never heard of anyone else being thrown out.

When my parents taught at Fourche Valley school, in Yell county, they never called my grandparents to tell them that they were coming to visit. Drove my dad crazy. Phones were still kind of new back there in the hills, and I am not sure that mom felt that it was necessary to call, since that had not been the way things were done. Her family had not, after all, even had a phone before her senior year of high school. Regardless, my Papaw always knew when my parents were coming. He would tell my Mamaw to put on extra food for supper "because the kids were coming."

I say all that to say this: I believe Todd's new friend when he says that "he just knows." I realize that it doesn't make logical sense. But too many things in this world defy logic for me to complain a whole lot about his one.

Wierd Arkansas Family Stuff

2009-09-18T15:05:00.000-07:00

As you may have noticed, weird Arkansas family stuff is one of the ongoing themes of this blog, mostly because I am from Arkansas. I love love love Arkansas, but being from here does tend to lend itself to having weird family stuff happen.

Last night, at the pool, my husband and son were going into the locker room to change. A guy is in there, and just starts chit-chatting. He asks my husband, "Are you from Conway?"

Todd, says, "We've lived here for a while, and I have kind of adopted it, but I'm originally from Missouri."

Guy says, "From up around Sikeston-New Madrid area?"

This takes Todd by surprise, because, sure enough, that is really close to where he's from. "Yes," he replies, "but I went to elementary school in Virginia."

"Fairfax county?" the guy asks.

At this point, Todd is really discombobulated. Asks the guy how he knows. Etc. He tells me all this when he gets home.

So I ask, "So you think this guy is a cousin? One that you guys lost touch with?" Because Todd does have cousins in Arkansas that he has lost touch with.

Supposedly this guy works at Lowe's, and I'm supposed to go with Todd to see what's up. Because Todd was impressed that I had put all this together so quickly. Truthfully, I put it together because my mother and I look enough alike that all kinds of people around home know who I belonged to, even if I had no idea who they were. Even if they hadn't ever really seen me. I was in the newspaper enough (cheerleader, clubs, etc.) with my name that they could connect me with my family. I assume that something similar has happened here. Because our son looks enough like my husband did that we wouldn't really have to take new pictures. No doubt, this cousin had seen my husband's picture around enough as a kid to recognize our son.

But it will be interesting to find out more.

Sigh of relief

2009-09-07T19:22:00.000-07:00

My second job wrapped up today, so I am back down to just the one full time teaching job. Oh, and graduate school. My dissertation proposal is due in December. So I just trade one problem in for another.

We've adjusted son's medication, so he is less crazy. Which makes my life less crazy.

We bought a new kitchen stove today, paid for by my second job. We bought a dishwasher earlier this summer with that money, too. It is so nice not to have to borrow money for absolutely everything we do. My mother keeps pointing out that everything I borrow just has to be paid back, and of course, she's right. Maybe next year, if I do this again, I can pay something off.

Someday, our student loans will be due, and at that point, we're in trouble. :) I should totally buy a car before that happens. Never worry today about what I can worry about tomorrow.

In the meantime, I try to muddle through my PhD and keep my kids fed. As part of my quest to keep my kids fed, I bought Once-A-Month Cooking: Family Favorites. I don't know why I keep buying these cookbooks. I like the way it is laid out, and the way they break down the shopping lists. But a lot of the dishes sound really horrid, like Mahi Mahi steaks. The worst part of that recipe is actually that it isn't really a make-ahead recipe. The recipe is for a grilling sauce that gets repackaged with the fish steaks that don't even thaw as this recipe is "made ahead."

And, of course, modifying one recipe changes the whole shopping list, the advantage of buying the book. Aaarg!

Where has the time gone?

2009-09-04T19:25:00.000-07:00

I can hardly believe how little I've posted lately! Well, maybe I can. I've been uber-busy, finishing up my summer job as my real job started up. My summer job is grading papers for a class for talented high school students, and all I have left are final reviews. Those are due Monday, but I'm procrastinating.

On top of all this, my son has been especially unstable. That is always fun. He disrupts the whole household, and then does not understand why we're still upset once he's calmed down.

All I have been doing for weeks is working one job or the other, punctuated by insane rampaging teenage boy.

I haven't even seen one of Project Runway's new season yet. (Although I do have them on the DVR.) As soon as I finish these final papers, I am going to go all hedonist and catch up on Project Runway. And watch those Being Human episodes that I've queued up in anticipation for a moment's free time.

Unfortunately, almost as soon as I finish up with my talented high school students, I have to start to work on bibliographies for my Comprehensive Exam. To make matters worse, I am only really friends with two of the other ten people in my class, and neither of them (I think) are in my "track," Professional Writing and New Media. Either way, I will have to do group work with people that I don't know/like. So I am fretting about that.

I tell my students that they should narrow their ideas down so that they only are saying one thing, but I completely failed on that point here. Perhaps if I had loaded my ideas in a shotgun and shot them at my blog they could have been more scattered. But perhaps not.

It is possible that I could be better next time. :)

Cash for clunkers?

2009-08-15T21:42:00.001-07:00

So I am tired of my life. It gets lousy gas mileage. I'm looking for a trade in program. My life for someone who did her phd the normal way-- funded and sans kids. My kids are, this very minute, asleep. But earlier today, they made me crazy. Miss O, my seven year old, skipped in circles around my parents' living room, but refused to go outside to burn off energy. My 16 year old took five hours to figure out what she wanted to do today, and then called me in a panic to sort out the fact that we ate the food that she had intended to contribute to the church youth group get-together. My 14 year old son spent the evening lolling around because he got too much sun at above youth get together and somehow can't figure out that his pale skin (belying his Scots-Irish roots-- he managed to skip any Native American skin tones) means sunscreen and lots of it.

And all of this is my problem.

Right.

Craziness & Chaos

2009-06-25T21:29:00.000-07:00

My husband is moderate about nothing. If anything gets his attention, the world is on hold until someone has solved it. This is never more apparent than it was today.

Olivia, our seven year old, is staying with Mea while I am in Writing Project and Todd is taking graduate classes. Today, Olivia did bother to wake up Mea. She got board, so decided to call me. I was of course in class. W had my phone because his day camp was over and he had to wait until I got done. W wouldn't come get me, so Olivia called Todd. He got very upset because she was “alone” while Meleah slept. It is important to note here that Todd was often neglected as a small child. From the time his sister was born when he was seven, he was left at home alone. This has obviously affected his outlook. His visceral reaction was extreme. So I tried to sort things out.

I called home. I called Mea's number and it rolled over to voicemail. Then I called the house phone. It, too, rolled over to voicemail. I had understood from Walker that Olivia could not wake Mea. So I came home.

I walk in the door, Mea is awake. Olivia is on the phone with her friend Sharnetta, watching tv in my bedroom. I had a nice long conversation with Olivia about what constitutes an emergency. She should only call me if one of the following occurs: the house is on fire; uncontrollable bleeding; severe burns; a break-in; or if she cannot wake up Mea after she pours water on her. I'll add a meltdown by W to that list for Mea.

It is hard to come down too hard on a seven-year-old for a lack of judgment. Of course, she lacks judgment. She's seven. But now she knows. No more judgment for her. Now she has rules.

Family Skeletons...

2009-06-01T19:00:00.000-07:00

From Harrison Daily Times
Officers search for David Middleton

By JAMES L. WHITE
Times Staff jamesw@harrisondaily.com
Published: Monday, June 1, 2009 12:10 PM
JASPER — Newton County Sheriff Keith Slape said officers are looking for a Mt. Judea man on drug charges following a search warrant at his home last week.

According to Slape, officers are searching for David Middleton, who turns 53 Monday, after the search warrant at Middleton’s house turned up evidence that he might be attempting to cook methamphetamine.

Slape said officers from his department, the 14th Judicial District Drug Task Force, Arkansas State Police and Boone County Sheriff’s Office executed the warrant at Middleton’s house last Thursday.

Middleton’s wife, Rhonda, was taken into custody on a prescription drug fraud charge, Slape said, but Middleton was not home at the time.

Slape said items uncovered in the search were consistent with a meth lab and Middleton is now wanted on drug charges.

He said Friday that officials had not made contact with Middleton and didn’t know if his family members have had contact since the warrant either. Still, he considers Middleton a fugitive.

“I believe he is well aware that we want him,” Slape said. He also said the warrant comes after a lengthy investigation that has been going on for “a couple of years now.”

Slape said Middleton is the father of Shannon Ray Middleton, who was 27 when he was shot and killed outside the Middleton house at Mt. Judea in December 2005.

In April 2007, Ricky Freeman, 40, pleaded guilty to killing Middleton and was sentenced to 24 years in prison.

Slape said any connection between the current case and Shannon Middleton’s murder would be solely the “criminal activities among the group.”

Slape asked the public for any information regarding David Middleton’s location, stressing that public support and information is crucial in reducing drug problems in Newton County.

“You can remain anonymous and any information will be held in strict confidence.” Slape said.

David was married to my cousin Holly (my grandfather's niece) for several years. Then he took up with my cousin Rhonda (my grandmother's niece).

The story above talks about my cousin Shannon's murder, as well. It is not like Shannon and I were close, by any stretch of the imagination. But whenever we ran into each other, we always found stuff to talk about, despite the obvious differences in our background and lifestyle.

And he was killed over drugs. Meth. I am really really tired of meth and what it does to people.

Quick post and then off

2009-05-30T08:05:00.000-07:00

Today, I am going to a family reunion (or reonion, as some of them refer to it, when they are in a mood). This is my dad's side of the family. He was one of seven surviving children and he and his siblings (and their kids, which is where I come in) get together 2-3 times a year. We all get together the Saturday after Thanksgiving and Memorial Day weekend at least.

This year's Memorial Day get-together was postponed for a week for Bluegrass and BBQ at Silver Dollar City last weekend. My dad has played bluegrass semi-professionally most of my life. He has played for churches and festivals and even at Dogpatch for a few years. Since he retired from teaching, though, he has been playing music with some of the young people in the community. A few years ago, he had worked with three young me and created quite the band. They made a couple albums privately and sold them. They made some spending money, anyway. And, like the Commitments, about the time they got their break, they fell apart. Trust me when I say it is no easier to watch in person than in the movie.

A year or two back, he stated working with a new group of boys. And they had a lot of potential. They were asked to play here and there. The boys, though, are also into sports and girls and being boys. So despite the gigs that have been coming, they were still having problems getting their stuff together.

Then they got the chance to play at Silver Dollar City's Youth in Bluegrass competition. There was a catch, though. My dad couldn't be on stage with them, since he wasn't related to any of them. So he has been trying to get them to work up their 2-3 songs. For months. Then, in April, one of the boys, J.O. went nuts, changing schools and quitting the band. This leaves two boys. After some scrambling, one of the boys from the first band, Anthony, pulled in his little brother and taught him the bass in a MONTH, so they could play at the park.

One of the other boys, J.S., still wouldn't come to practice. And he blew the show. The boy that had been playing a month played better.

So Dad is ready to quit them. The band was one reason that he and Mom had been reluctant to move down here. Dad felt obligated to them. He always wished he had been given that sort of mentoring. In all honesty, Dad could have been a session musician in Nashville, if he had known how to go about it. Or played with a band. He's not front man material, but he is a heck of an instrument player.

So today is our Memorial Day reunion, and I am heading to Cabot with two of my kids (the other one being at Disney World today, marching in a parade). And I will hear some of the best gospel bluegrass played anywhere on the front porch of my cousin's house.

And I will avoid it, as I always do, because as much as I have tried, I have never really developed a liking for bluegrass.

What's up with me...

2009-05-29T08:08:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I spent the day putting my 16 year old on a bus for Florida. We had to get her an ID card (since she hasn't taken her driver's test yet), money, food, and guide book. That took all morning.

Then, I had to take W to see his counselor in West Little Rock. Which means a fight with my GPS because she wants me to take a bizarre route. I get off the Interstate on Financial Center Parkway, but then she wants me to turn off of Financial Center Parkway to get to an address on Financial Center Parkway. This makes me crazy. I do, however, appreciate the fact the she can get me the right exit (and that she can take me to Sam's Club or Garden Ridge on the way). However, these quirky malfunctions make me a bit crazy.

After the counselor, we went by the 4-H office where I took care of (more) details for the camps this summer. I also signed W up for an illustrated talk at Regional O'Rama. Mea won her spot at regional-- in fact, she won two spots and had to choose.

Anyway, W will be giving an illustrated talk on Consumer Economics. We brainstormed about what he could talk about. We talked about budgeting or budgeting resources online. Then we hit things we can do to lower utility bills. So he and I brainstormed things to do to make an existing house "greener." If I can just keep him off the RPGs long enough, I think he could do this.

Basics

2009-05-28T15:53:00.000-07:00

How can serving food for five people on a daily basis be so hard? I mean, I have a refrigerator, a deep freeze, an oven, and a crock pot.

My great grandmother had a wood stove.

I have a pantry full of food, in cans, waiting to be turned into meals.

My great grandmother canned everything from peaches to green beans to pork. Only then did she ever begin to cook.

She also hauled water, built a fire, and cooked. Then she heated water on the stove and washed dishes. Cooking for her crew was about a full time job.

For me, though, cooking is not my job. It is what I have to do *after* my job. My dh, on the other hand, does his job, then comes home and waits for supper to appear. By magic. Occasionally, he does the dishes (not as often as he thinks he does) or he puts something precooked from Sam's in the oven (or microwave). He *never* cooks. He will look at my pantry full of food and ask me what there is to eat. Seriously.

So, this is my problem. My belief in equality aside, if I am ever going to consistantly have nutritous meals, I am responsible for making sure they happen.

So I flirt with organization.

I have books like Don't Panic - Dinner's in the Freezer: Great-Tasting Meals You Can Make Ahead
and the The Freezer Cooking Manual from 30 Day Gourmet: A Month of Meals Made Easy
(if your idea of Gormet is chicken and pasta, you're there) and even the Woman's Day Cookbook.

What I should probably do is to quit trying to find a system, and just start. Cook a week's worth of food. I can do that, right? I'll be off more this summer and won't be selling a house or taking six hours of PhD level classes.

Where I come from...

2009-05-08T12:07:00.000-07:00

This is where I am from...
These pictures were taken between the "main" road (the paved county road) and my parents' home.
I've been to several states, and five countries in Europe, and no where can compete with my home for sheer natural beauty.

Real Obvious...

2009-04-30T18:06:00.000-07:00

So this came in my inbox "help" from a home superstore, and Real Simple, the magazine dedicated to making me feel like the worst housekeeper on the planet. These "tips" are supposed to make my life better?

Use multitasking products? "No need to use separate products to cleanse and exfoliate" this exhorts me. I am so happy if I manage to get my makeup off my face before I collapse that I often use a wet wipe. Forget "cleansing."

"Line up your products in the medicine cabinet in the order in which you use them... No more forgetting deodorant when you're in a rush." If I couldn't get ready until my products were lined up in the medicine cabinet, I would never get to work. Then I have to put them back in the same order? Every morning? I might as well tender my resignation now.

"For items you're always using (like cotton swabs or makeup brushes), keep them on the counter in pretty containers." Really? Does anyone *not* keep their cotton swabs on the counter in a jar? Did I miss the memo that said that we weren't doing that anymore? Because everyone I know keeps theirs in a jar on the bathroom counter, along with the cotton balls.

Real Simple really should think about these "tips" before they send out this content. I am now convinced (as if I weren't before) that they are completely divorced from any kind of reality.

With mornings like these...

2009-04-24T11:37:00.000-07:00

I really hate when one of my mornings is intersected with an extra child being at my house. Not "extra," as in friend over, but "extra" as in, should have been in the truck with their daddy. (He looks for excuses to leave them.) It is always disconcerting. And it takes a chunk of time out of my morning to do drop off at an extra school.

Anyway, so this morning W is sitting on the couch as his dad leaves. I ask why. Turns out, the guy who is taking him on an extra-special field trip to watch things blow up is picking him up at my house. My house is a wreck, as it is every semester about this time. (Spring break was a long time ago.) So I tell him that he has to pick up the living room-- all the area that can be seen from the front door.

Then, after I load the dishwasher, I tell him again.

In the meantime, he has taken the clothes out of the dryer so that he can dry his clothes. Fine. Turns out, though, those clothes are still wet.

I sweep the leaves out of the entry hall. At this point, I am yelling at W to clean up the living room that can be seen from the front door. He fusses about me yelling. Now, at this point, the fact that he needed to help neaten up should not have been news. Yet, he could not figure out why I was upset. How can he be such a man at 14?

Back to the wet clothes: I try to look at the lint screen to see if it is full. I reach over and pull it out and somehow knock the coffee out of my hands. As my dear Mea was trying to help salvage the falling coffee cup, she knocked over the laundry detergent. And the lid fell off as it hit the floor.

I had a quart (at least) Tide Free mixed with coffee on my hallway floor. And on my clothes. Which made the laminate floor impassible and my outfit impossible.

So I had to mop up the mess and change clothes. Changing caused its own set of trauma. I am evidently about 10lbs over my fat clothes at this point, so it was a challenge to find something that fit. Eventually, of course, I did, sort of. But I made it to work eventually.

And just made W wait in the front yard.

Demolition

2009-03-24T16:44:00.000-07:00

So taking out the old vanity in my bathroom was a four hour job for three people. Evidently plumbing standards were "plumbing suggestions" in 1978. I can hardly believe the mess this thing was. And to get to anything, we had to ooze through layers of mold and rotted caulk. Oh, and the builder used regular drywall behind the sink instead of green board or cement board like someone who is not an idiot. So I also had to patch disintegrating drywall. Now, of course, it needs painted because it looks like patched drywall.

And since we got the old vanity out (in pieces), we see that one of the shut-off valves leaks. We have to fix this before I can start on the floor. Because there is a big vanity-shaped patch of cement in my bathroom, with no flooring. Around it are three layers of flooring, each more horrific than the last. The bottom layer is thankfully past my ability (interest) to dig out. The second layer is bright almost-Williamsburg blue. The top layer is mauve. I don't know why, because it clashes with the pumpkin colored walls. If there were ever a room crying out for a neutral, it is this one.

I just have to thank God that we escaped the harvest gold bathroom fixtures.

Spring Break

2009-03-22T13:15:00.000-07:00

I love hearing my colleagues tell me that they are going to have relaxing spring breaks. For me, spring break is kind of like half-time. There is a break, so I actually *look* at my house.

Then I make a list.

Today, so far, Mea and I replaced one of a pair of really awful track lights. We'll probably get the other one before the day is over. Last night, I took the burners out of my stove and scrubbed that nastiness underneath (which I should have done when I moved in, but avoided until now).

Other items on my to do list:

Put new flooring down in the master bath before installing a new vanity and faucet (the old faucet leaks, and the old sink is stained and ugly).
Replace the light fixture in the master bath
Take out the shower doors in the master bath. They are outdated, stained, hard to use and hard to clean. I am totally replacing them with a bleachable curtain.
Paint Miss O's bedroom. Really, green and dark green with a huge border, with chunks missing. Really, really terrible.

I think this is a reasonable list, mostly. Painting is really the one thing that might not get done, because I'll have to clear out her room, then prime, then paint. That will be a two-day job.

And Mea is talking wistfully about a day-trip to Silver Dollar City.

Update: We finished the other light. No more 80s track lights.

Something I have never done...

2009-03-18T17:40:00.000-07:00

I did something I have never done before: I dropped a graduate class.

One of the things I have never understood about taking classes in education departments is how the classroom practices are so divorced from the theories they teach (two amazing exceptions to this were Connie Zimmer at ATU and Patty Phelps at UCA). In this class, the instructor kept talking about the importance of a study guide, but he rarely provided them. The discussion board questions were only tangently related to the readings (honestly, I usually did the readings after the discussion board). It is mid-term, and I had gotten zero feedback on the discussion board portion of the class, which was worth 20% of the final grade.

I finally got a response from the instructor, after I dropped the class. I had three spelling errors (letter reversals-- I am mildly dyslexic). So that dropped my score on "Writing." Whatever. It is over. I'll finish up the other class I am in and be done with everything but my dissertation seminar. Then I can worry about more interesting things, like my dissertation. :)

Grades

2009-03-16T18:57:00.000-07:00

I hate grades. I do. I hate giving them.

Normally, though, I don't mind getting them, because mine are generally good. And by generally, I mean, there is not a dead philosopher involved. (Come to think of it, living ones aren't much better...) Anyway, I got a paper back today with the most bizarre comment:

I am unclear as to your best practice.

organization 4 Writing 4 Thorough 5 Descript 4 Total 17 Weighted 8.5

This is my thesis:

Because of the distance in distance education between the instructor and the learner, either in location or in time, the potential for instant communication is tantalizing. However, in the rush to incorporate the new media technologies into distance learning (DL), there is a danger that the technologies can overwhelm all the other elements in the course. This must not happen. Instead, education must remain focused on instructional outcomes, not just the technology of delivery.

While I will admit it lacks a certain something (like readability), it pretty directly states a topic that the instructor listed as one of our choices.

I even emailed the instructor to ask him to explain himself. I did. And I never do that. I have been known to smother them a bit with questions about the *next* assignment if they gave me a bad grade, but I have not questioned assignments.

I am probably going to drop the class. Over this comment (and the B that goes with it). Part of me feels like a quitter, but I have not dropped a course yet in my phd program. And I don't need this course. It does not count toward anything. At all. I thought it would be interesting, and if I took two classes, then I could get a student loan. And we all know, I need money to pay for classes. Not that I have money to pay back student loans, but I think that is another issue altogether.

Lost

2009-03-10T20:29:00.000-07:00

(and Hare Krishna is not a part of this)

My GPS was lost for the better part of two days. How is it that I can't manage to keep up with things? Really, I am not an idiot. My parents did have me tested for idiocy... Really. My dad was working on a masters in counseling. I was a child. Lots of counseling students needed a ~~victim~~ person to try out their testing skills.

So, as a certified not-an-idiot, theoretically, I should not be inclined to lose every single one of my belongings. However, over the weekend, my gps went missing. A couple of weeks ago, my office keys magically appeared in a random location, so that they got turned into the department office.

At least my printer is large, so it is hard to lose it...

Finally! A new post.

2009-03-09T21:15:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I worked in our front yard. Normally this means cleaning up some resistant leaves and putting in some bedding plants.

Not this year.

Our yard is barren. There are two gigantic trees, a couple of shrubs that I don't recognize and two sickly azaleas. Near the mailbox, however, is a little oasis. There, tulips and peonies are just shooting up. No grass graces our yard. We thought about sod, but the affordable sod only grows in sunlight, and the guy at the landscaping materials place said that it was iffy. He recommended hardscape.

This yard is so beyond bedding plants.

So, yesterday, I bought hostas and caladiums. And vinca. And some other random groundcover that I can't identify. I planted the pinks I bought earlier in a pot, so I can move them to find sunlight, along with my herbs.

Mea's regional history day competition was Saturday. She has written a lovely piece on Sargent Shriver. This year, she has done an individual documentary, so she alone is responsible for the script, editing, sound, AND all the paperwork. Paperwork is what she hasn't really done before. Her friends she used to work with did most of the paperwork. This has been her biggest problem thus far. Her bibliography contains only a fraction of the works that she used. She still took third, and this is the hardest region in the state, but she has to improve it if she wants to go to nationals. One of her judges found my parents at the awards ceremony to try to talk to her, so we chased him down afterward. He said that she needs to focus more in her conclusion, and she needs to work on it-- starting soon. No more procrastination.

My dad's band, South Big Creek, played at Williams Family Jamboree on Saturday night. I only made it through the first set. Bluegrass music is an iffy thing for me anyway, and I was exhausted by 8pm-- that and I knew we had an hour's drive back home. So we headed back home before the second set. Mea, who was evidently still on an adrenaline high, stayed and rode home with my brother's family. Of course, she was not faced with driving.

Tonight our 4-H group meets, and tomorrow night is the fashion competition. Mea is threatening to skip tonight's meeting due to homework. And she probably will. AP English is piling it on-- a bunch of questions on Julius Caesar, which is one of my very favorite plays. The questions, though, are ridiculous-- we didn't do this in college lit classes (I did in one rhetoric class). Find an example of an anaphora in Act III; find Synedoche; find syllogism; etc. So she asks for help. Synecdoche, I remember. Part for the whole. Anaphora? Evidently I have aphasia where anaphora is concerned. Syllogism though, I know cold, right? Is is part of an enthememe. Alas, finding a bloody syllogism in a play is another matter. Fortunately, Caesar does have one of the best speeches of all time, so we mine “I come to bury Caesar not to praise him.” Lame as we are, we are comparing them to the classic: All men are mortal. Socrates is a man. Therefore, Socrates is mortal. We settle on the bit where he says that Brutus is an honorable man; they are all honorable me. The thing is, I love literature, with a particular love for Shakespeare. This stuff drives me mad. I don't understand how anyone survives this garbage in high school and goes on to major in English. Last year, Mea talked about majoring in English-- not this year. This year, it is sociology, with an eye toward studying rural sociology in graduate school.

My Miss O keeps getting her card pulled at school. She can't keep her hands to herself, and can't attend to her school work. Week before last, she had three “yellows” and last week she had a “yellow” and an “orange.” (That is with the missed two days for the ear infection.)“Red,” I believe, sends her to the office. I should, I suppose, start on the behavior mods-- I know how to do them. Goodness knows, I practiced enough with W. Of course, with him, it was all practice. Because of the autism, he only cared so much about the rewards or even the consequences. We finally found something that he was obsessed enough to hold over him: a laptop. (He's 14 now.) And he can even sull up and go without that-- except that his sisters have access to it when he is grounded from it and he just cannot stand that.

Anyway, I am afraid that Miss O has a bit of an ADHD thing going on. I am almost afraid to get her diagnosed, because with that comes meds. W, of course, is unmanageable without his.

Why?

2009-02-06T14:00:00.000-08:00

So I always wonder why I do this stuff to myself. Why do I tell Mea that she can have people over? The house? A wreck. She's been too busy trying to get caught up at school to clean (like she promised she would). SO that would be me doing another load of dishes and wiping down counters. And it looks like it will be cleaning off the coffee table. And me who may be the biggest idiot on earth.

ETA: And, to add to the fun, my vacuum clogged. I have to take it apart, at some point, to remove said clog. And daughter for whom I am picking up like a madwoman? Cleaned her freaking bedroom instead of picking up the living room. Houseful of people coming over, and she decides to clean her room for the first time in six months.

Un-hearing

2009-02-04T10:45:00.000-08:00

My office, which is actually a lovely little windowless office, is situated next to the men's room. We have a common wall. Fortunately, though, I can't see who walks in or out from my office. This is a blessing...

Because I can hear the men use the toilets. Yes, I hear the flushing, and that is bad. But it is not the worst.

So I bought a CD player, and I try to balance the volume with not disturbing the people on my hall. But regardless, I cannot continue with the bathroom noise. And once it is heard, it seems to be impossible to un-hear.

But I really really want to un-hear it.

Randomness seems to be a theme with me lately...

2009-02-04T10:41:00.000-08:00

This is my list of random 25 facts about me from the Facebook meme.

1. I think golden age sci fi is amazing. I read and reread Asimov, Heinlein, Bradbury et. al.

2. Yes, I was an English major. I know what literature is.

3. I love love love Alice Cooper. He may be my all time favorite musician. Good thing he's prolific.

4. I am so excited that Neil Gaiman won the Newberry this year. Which speaks of my sci-fi geekdom and my former life as a librarian.

5. I will watch Weekend at Bernie's every time it is on cable. Ditto with Ferris Beuler. And Much Ado About Nothing. And Hamlet.

6. I don't have a cognitive dissonance problem with #5.

7. I scrapbook. Seriously, as in I pack up all my stuff and go to a crop once a month.

8. I can't keep organized. As OCD as I am, my desk and my house are both wrecks.

9. Despite my inability to keep house, I hate dirt. So while every surface in my house may be covered with stuff, I may well be sweeping or mopping my floors.

10. I don't like being outdoors. I like driving through pretty scenery, but lack any desire to walk around in it.

11. Most Sunday's you can find me sitting in a United Methodist Church.

12. I have a hard time telling people no (except students...). For this reason, I was head of the home missions committee at a previous church. I have taught every age of Sunday school from crawler to teenager, and co-taught some older than that. I am on committees at work that are outside the scope of my contract. And I am doing this meme.

13. I sew. I even made the outfit that I wore to work today.

14. My grandma taught me to sew and to quilt. She had high standards, but I now know how to rip a stitch I just put in (without gritting my teeth) and the value of doing things until I get them done right. And not to worry too much if I did it wrong the first time.

15. I have three kids. Their ages are 15, 13, and 6.

16. I have been married for nearly 17 years.

17. I think the Muppet Show was a work of genius.

18. I think Neil Gaiman is a work of genius, too.

19. I have more books than I know what to do with, but I love them, so I want to keep them. Ditto with fabric and scrapbooking supplies.

20. I believe that vinyl albums sound better than CDs.

21. I love mid-century modern furniture. Not the classy stuff that is back in style, but stuff that my grandparents might have bought.

22. Four of my favorite magazines have failed or are in the process of failing: O at Home, Domino, Simple Scrapbooks, and Blueprint.

23. I buy Vogue magazine, even though most of my clothes come from Kohls. (I do have a bit of cognitive dissonance about that...) And I dress myself by the rules of Trinnie and Susannah.

24. The last concerts I have seen were Better than Ezra, Apocalyptica, and Alice Cooper.

25. I hate driving in Little Rock. Take away my GPS and I am stuck.

RaNdoM

2009-01-22T18:18:00.000-08:00

So I really have nothing. Why, then, am I writing here when I am aware that I have nothing to say (as opposed to other days)?

Procrastination.

Pure and simple. I am not quite to the point that I am cleaning my house rather than do homework, but I may be edging closer. I have checked my facebook, my email, my message boards. I have prepared dinner for my family (okay, Kroger chicken-- but I reheated it), rewashed a load of clothes that sat in the washer too long, nagged dh into doing dishes (that started because we were looking for the corkscrew), and had a glass of wine.

Now I just need to bs my way through a definition of distance education. Recently, I have been rejoicing in the lack of theory in my classes that I am taking this spring. No theoretical framework to integrate into papers. No pretending I know what on earth my professors mean when they challenge me on my theories that I have cobbled together paraphrasing sentences I sort of understand. Just education classes.

Just the practical bs, ma'm. Hold the theoretical bs. I take the bs back. Busy work. That is what it is rather than bs. I am proving that I am working. Definitions, case studies, and bears, oh. my.

Let's see how far I get before I start wiping down the kitchen cabinets.

FAIL

2009-01-18T09:11:00.000-08:00

Dripping faucets. How hard can one be to fix? I have even done it before. So I buy a $35 kit and get my husband to turn off the water, and tear in.

Let me back up. To understand, you really must know that I fall asleep pretty easily and sleep like the dead. My husband, on the other hand, is an insomniac, and every little thing keeps him awake. The shower in the master bath has been dripping since we moved in. Our home warranty does not cover faucets. So, he felt that something *had* to be done. I on the other hand, have been putting this off for months. I knew that there was no shutoff for the shower itself. That means all the water in the house has to be off until I get everything put back together.

But dh finally ~~nagged~~ talked me into tackling this. I took apart the faucet, removing the handles and stems, and put on the new stems and handles. This took a relativity short amount of time. Couple of hours.

But of course, both handles still leaked. We had not touched the seats. The seat is a little nut-like thing that connects the back of the faucet to the faucet stem (which is under the handle).

So we take it all apart and take out the seat on the cold water. It didn't want to come out, so off to the hardware store for a different seat wrench. That helped. The seat loosened and came out. It was, of course, shot. So I try to put in a new one. It would not go in. Would not thread. We spent an hour or more trying to get it to catch. So I try putting in the old one, taping the threads and stuff. Nope. Leaking mess. So back to Lowe's to see if there is a different seat sold. No. Gerber changed the way they manufactured them. The clerk, though, helpfully pointed out how the threads were machined differently. And the old seat is ever-so-slightly smaller than the new one.

So there is no way to fix the old faucet. Which means after 6 hours, and $50 in materials, we are back to the beginning. Well, except for the drip that has turned into a waterfall. Dad is coming on Monday to sort it out.

Yeah, I slept in Miss O's room. Dh got to enjoy the waterfall by himself.

New Year!

2009-01-09T15:58:00.001-08:00

So, I have gained a ton of weight. Almost a metric ton. So I decided to do something. My dh does WeightWatchers online, but it is expensive. So I didn't want to do that. So I poked around and found a free food tracker. It figured out how many calories I need to eat every day to loose 1.5 pounds a week (I lack the obsessiveness to eat few enough calories to lose more). Other than the point system, it works like Weight Watchers. You type in the food you ate and the amounts and it tracks the calories for free. It will keep a year's worth of records for you. If you want more than that, you have to subscribe (but it is still WAY less than Weight Watchers.

I've been obsessively finding foods that will help me not starve while not sending my calorie count out of control. I found this list of 100 Calorie Snacks on WebMD:

100 Calorie Snacks: 20 Choices

Need some ideas? To get you started on the road to calorie-controlled snacking, our experts offer some suggestions for healthy 100-calorie munchies:

1. Half an apple with 2 teaspoons of peanut butter
2. An orange and a few dry-roasted nuts
3. 10 cashew nuts
4. 10 almonds
5. 2 ounces of lean roast beef
6. Half a small avocado
7. 3 ounces cooked whole-grain noodles with 1 fresh tomato and 1/2 ounce hard cheese
8. 1 seven-grain Belgian waffle
9. 4 mini rice cakes with 2 tablespoons low-fat cottage cheese
10. 3 ounces low-fat cottage cheese and 3 whole-wheat crackers
11. 1/4 cup fat-free ranch dressing with mixed raw veggies
12. 6 Wheat Thins crackers with two teaspoons of peanut butter (or any nut butter)
13. 1 small baked potato with 1/2 cup salsa and 2 tablespoons of fat-free sour cream
14. 1/3 cup of unsweetened applesauce with 1 slice of whole-wheat toast, cut into 4 strips for dunking
15. 1/2 cup frozen orange juice, eaten as sorbet
16. 2 large graham cracker squares with 1 teaspoon peanut butter
17. 3 handfuls of unbuttered popcorn, seasoned with herbs
18. 4-6 ounces of no-fat or low-fat yogurt
19. A 5-ounce tossed salad with lettuce, tomato, cucumber and 1/4 cup fat-free dressing
20. Half a "finger" of string cheese with 4 whole-wheat crackers

Inexplicable

2008-12-31T08:17:00.000-08:00

Something I really do not understand is my affection for soap operas. Young and the Restless holds an unending fascination for me, and I am not sure why, exactly. When I was young, Days of Our Lives, Another World, & Santa Barbara were what my Mamaw watched, and I, of course, watched with her. Somewhere along the line, I picked up Y&R & The Bold and the Beautiful as well-- probably because they were more interesting than talk shows and local news.

So I recognize there is an element of nostalgia. But that can't be the entirety of the issue because she also watched The Price is Right. But what is the appeal? It is certainly not the high quality writing and acting. Perhaps it is the fact that the characters provide friend drama without the time commitment. And none of it is really secret-- they show the whole nation, after all-- so there is no consequence for knowing the secret. And if you have a friend who also watches, you can gossip without fear of consequence. Does Sharon's husband know that she is secretly in love with Brad? We can discuss away-- no danger of Jack finding out from us.

But maybe it is even deeper. Y&R provides the community that I miss, living away from where I grew up, and the church where I grew up. I mean I know people here, but I only know their lives from the past few years; I don't know the history behind them. Unlike Y&R, in real life, people don't show flashbacks to explain the current story. No one rehashes their friends' lives in the coffee shop every time they see them. Y&R provides, in an odd way, a replacement for the community I lost when I moved away from the one I grew up in.

So much to say...

2008-12-29T21:27:00.000-08:00

I really have had a great holiday, despite the drama. And truthfully, my drama is petty, especially when I compare it to my friend's homeless sister or my other friend's disturbed brother. I have a family that speaks to one another and basically feels compelled to see each other during the holidays. In other words, I am blessed.

My baby cousin (who is now 30) came to see me tonight. She is working at Fairfield Bay this week, and decided to drive into town to see us. That was really nice. I hardly get to see her anymore. She and I were close for years-- we both spent a lot of time at our grandmother's house, and as the oldest girl, it was my job (spoken or not) to look after the younger cousins. Not that I minded. I've always enjoyed looking out for people. So I baby sat here, I listened to her rattle about her friends and sisters and boyfriends. Our relationship changed when I married my husband and acquired my step-daughter. My cousin and step-daughter bonded, and I became a grown-up to her; her friend's step-mom, rather than her big cousin and friend.

So now, what we have is a changed relationship. She and my step-daughter drifted apart. But that's okay. What we have now is an adult relationship. And I think a good one. We talk mostly on Facebook, since I am not really a phone person. Anyway, tonight was nice.

Now, I should quit blogging and cleaning off my DVR and go to bed.

Re-evaluation

2008-12-27T15:43:00.000-08:00

So, I dropped the cooking part. With Kroger and their wonderful bakery down the street, just a couple of blocks away, who needs to cook? Maybe I am not quite as dumb as I look...

I hung the new home theater speakers, except the one in the corner I can't reach. It will drive dh crazy enough to do it soon, since it is unbalanced. :)

The house is a clean as it is going to get this weekend. Which is not to say that you should consider eating off anything but my kitchen table. But I am no longer having an anxiety attack over the idea of someone seeing it. I have some baskets that are overstuffed. And magazines stacked on a bookshelf. But I can live with this. Which is a good thing, because people are coming in half an hour!

Post-Christmas

2008-12-27T10:12:00.000-08:00

Well, Christmas has come and gone. We had, of course, family drama. What's a holiday without drama? This is my brother's year to go to his wife's family for Christmas. Fine. I think that is a fairly stupid arrangement, but whatever. On years they come to our house, his wife's mother frequently comes along. Which is great. We love her. Anyway. I thought that, since he would not be coming to our parents' home for Christmas, that we could just all get together on Christmas eve at my house, have dinner, open presents, etc. Together. Nope. Not happening. He and his wife and daughter did come over and we had lunch with my parents. His family and mine exchanged gifts. My kids opened their presents from us (we always do this on Christmas eve). My step-daughter and her husband came over and opened our presents to them (they don't buy presents for us). Then we packed our stuff and traipsed to my parents' house for Christmas. My brother and his wife and his wife are having Christmas at our folks' house today.

I, on the other hand, am at home getting ready for a Christmas party for my college friends (at least the ones in the area), at least a select group of them; i.e., the group that all speaks to each other. So, I need to clean off the coffee tables and pick up around the edges of the house. And cook. Definitely cook.

Snow Day!!!

2008-12-16T14:39:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I was out visiting a couple of our partner schools without my cell phone. I am not a cell-phone-glued-to-my-ear kind of person, but I do like to have it when I drive. Anyway, visited one partner school in the morning, killed some time at Barns and Nobel and visited the other school.

Meanwhile, Conway schools dismissed due to the weather. And the business in Little Rock started shutting down. I leave Hall High, which is in West Little Rock and get on the interstate (this is normally a 10 minute trip). An hour later, I got to the Cantrell exit, where I just got off. I poked my GPS until it found me a route out of Little Rock that did not require being on interstate anything.

So I head out through Perry County. In the dark. And the ice that has by this time accumulated on the road. I put the car in low gear down Wye Mountain, and made it down alive. I left Hall at about 3:15 and made it home after six. That was a long long trip.

Today, of course, we are all home. And it has been a pretty good day. I installed a new memory chip on my computer (for a total of 2GB of memory!), got permission from my adviser to take a Children's literature class and have it count toward my degree program, and got my grade for the class I took (A-, which is a bit better than I expected). I have not, however, managed to make my house presentable. That is okay, though. Tomorrow is another (snow) day!!

A sigh or relief; Or It is all over but the shoutin'

2008-12-12T13:08:00.000-08:00

I just turned in my final exam. Two questions out of the three listed. I could list them here, but really they are still too painful to think about.

My niece's birthday is this weekend, so we have family stuff. And next weekend is the weekend before Christmas? How did time pass so quickly?

I gave up and bought a new Christmas tree this week, because my old one is in the back of a large storage unit. My plan this spring is to empty that and sell the stuff inside. The problem is just having the time to go through it.

On to other things. Monday was probably the worst day I have had recently. My class that I was planning to take this spring was canceled. And while I was thinking about, well, fretting about that, and about scheduling a get together with my college friends and compromising on a Christmas date with my brother, I backed into our neighbor's mail box, shattering the back glass of my van.

Todd had W at his therapists, but I called and cried to him. Todd got me some plastic to tape over the gaping hole. I still had to take the kids to 4-H for the Christmas party. And where I somehow became the grown-up in charge. So I packed them up and ~~threw them out~~ we all went home.

The rest of the week? I have worked on my final. But now it is over. OVER!!!!

Jubilation?

2008-12-04T06:28:00.000-08:00

My semester is almost done, for better or for worse. I am sitting here at my desk making instant coffee, writing because I promised myself I would.

What is on my mind? I am panicked about money, for a change. One of our credit cards-- an offer that came in the mail, (If you don't know, don't ever accept those. There are always better ones, but you have to look.) has gone over 30%. We have not missed payments, and our credit is average (too many student loans, mostly). So I really need to pay that off. And my van has been in the shop three times in six weeks, and I had to have some expensive medical tests done to find out that I don't absorb vitamin B very well. And I lost the fight with the insurance company, so I am paying retail for my son's ADHD medication. And, well, we're teachers. And I am in grad school, so I don't have time to pull in any freelance jobs.

On the bright side, Christmas shopping is done. One more small gift for a party is all I have left. I do however, still have to thoroughly clean my house. And possibly paint my living room, because that Ace-bandage pinky-beige is on my last nerve. I don't want to hang anything on those ugly walls. So all the stuff that belongs on walls is leaned up in the corner. Adding to the clutter in my living room.

So, yeah, that is what's on my mind.

Coming down to the wire

2008-11-20T13:47:00.000-08:00

Presentation done. Research paper to go. I really want to get it done before the break.

And guess what it is about? Come on, what debate to I live my life in the middle of? That college composition belongs in college.

And it does. High school is high school. It cannot, regardless of the quality of the class, be college. It just can't.

And it certainly can't if it is also an AP class.

Sorry that this is just a drive-by posting. I keep promising myself that I will actually have time to sit down and write something-- anything other than scholarship.

Quick update (and a bit of whining)

2008-11-16T10:22:00.000-08:00

The class I am taking this semester is an overview of the entire field of English studies. Which is kind of funny, because our degree program only has two tracks: Professional Writing and New Media & Rhetoric and Textual Studies. Evidently "Textual Studies" will eventually be "literature."

Anyway, I careen blindly from one topic to another, trying to catch up. This, catch this, is supposed to be an introductory class. And truthfully, I would probably resent it less if I were new, just immersing myself in the discipline. Just careening wildly from one topic to another was kind of what I did... Now, though, I have areas that I like better than others. Areas where I know the players. And my final paper will be over one of those well-trodden fields. Thank Goodness.

Bad hair day

2008-11-11T09:55:00.001-08:00

No day that starts out with hair looking as badly as mine does can be a good day. It is flat, and starting to look a bit gray at the roots.

I had a light day planned, so I did not realize that I needed emergency hair therapy. I was just going to visit a high school, meet briefly with my boss, and deal firmly with a plagiarist (who is not even in my class). No need to break out the curling iron and heavy duty hairspray, right? Sounds like a day so harmless not even bad hair could ruin it.

Boy was I wrong. My van wouldn't start. Granted, this has been kind of an on-going issue, but we thought we had it solved last night. Found out this morning that we did not. So I have to drive the moldy car, again. But today, I have to drive it farther because marching band is over and 10th grade band meets over at East campus, which is way out of my way.

So I make it there and to work with only a blistering headache and a mild asthma attack (forgot to mention the mold allergy, didn't I?)

I had to cancel the school visit.

The meeting with my boss was okay, though. We'll see how it goes with the plagiarist.

I would feel better with some heat styling and some hairspray.

Busy busy busy

2008-11-07T19:35:00.001-08:00

Last week I was in Las Vegas at the International Writing Center Conference. My friend and colleague Joanna and I had a presentation accepted. We saw a lot of good sessions, but were a bit disappointed by the turnout for our session. I have some observations from that trip that I will get together eventually.

This week, I have been playing catchup. Laundry, student issues, spending catch-up time with my kids (the little one played sick on Monday so she could go to work with me). Oh, and the 4-H award banquet was on Thursday, after class. My kids are new, so they didn't get any awards, but now we know that awards exist...

Mea's last half time show of the season was last night-- senior night. So she missed the 4-H banquet, and I missed her last half-time show. And this weekend, we are staying home.

Adventures in Computing

2008-10-24T13:48:00.000-07:00

I have a lovely custom desktop at my house. I built it. So I really chose carefully what goes in it. It has two gigabyte of memory and a 250 gigabyte hard drive.

I have a teenaged son. He likes to look at p*rn. Animated p*rn, to be precise. I found this out because he likes to look at it on my computer. This bothers me because this is not the p*rn that I remember my brother and my guy friends looking at. Evidently, tasteful p*rn is more expensive than really tacky p*rn produced by drunken amateurs. I was of course, horrified. What mother wouldn't be? Especially since, and this is important, it is on my computer. In my cache. Popping up when I am trying to do other things. So I bought Cybersitter. I did my research. It claimed to block sites that I wanted to block and allow sites that I wanted to allow. And sure 'nuff; it did. For months.

Then it started malfunctioning. Someone, somewhere, forgotten to share with me an important truth: Norton 360 and parental control software cannot exist on the same computer at the same time. If an unsuspecting person tries to force them to, one of them explodes. I have had this experience before, with daughters instead of software, and a single bedroom instead of a computer. A similar result ensued, though, and we moved into a house with an extra bedroom.

So I try to uninstall Cybersitter. But I had waited too late. There was no patching things up at this point. Cybersitter and Norton 360 were duking it out. They were headed to divorce court. But neither one would leave the house.

So not only do I have these two programs completely blocking my access to the internet (and my email-- this marks me as a digital immigrant), but in trying to use the Repair function that comes with Cybersitter, it got stuck in a loop, refreshing an "information" box (a.k.a., an idiot box) every second. So I couldn't do anything on my computer. I could not get Cybersitter to open up to disable it.

Then I do what any self-respecting nerd would do: I try to boot Windows in Safe Mode. Not happening. Cybersitter had hijacked my safe mode. Fine, I thought. I went into my BIOS to changed the boot order. The computer should not have been able to boot from my hard drive.

But it did.

At that point, I gave up. We took it to the shop. They were able to work their magic and uninstall the divorcing programs. This magic, however, was not free. I spent $40 on the program and $50 removing it.

And now, I am back to having to look at a Princess Jasmine, topless.

War Eagle

2008-10-18T04:50:00.000-07:00

War Eagle Craft Fair is, truly, one of the reasons that I love living in Arkansas. Located in the middle of nowhere is this old mill where a craft fair has been held every fall since the 1950s. War Eagle, is a bit different from a typical craft fair. While there are quilts, carved wood spirits, embellished sweatshirts and hand poured lip balm, there are also museum quality Shaker boxes (starting at $20-- I kid you not!), metal sculptures, and home furnishings made from salvaged lumber.

We meant to leave early-- right after I dropped Mea off at school. But instead, I decided to drop by Kroger and pick up some food for breakfast and lunch, so we wouldn't have to eat out. That took about a half hour, of course. Todd had taken a personal day, and we took the younger kids out of school so they could come (and we wouldn't have to make arrangements to get them picked up). We finally got out of the house about 9. We started west on I-40. And drove and drove. We stopped at the park in West Fork for a picnic lunch (which Olivia didn't like, of course).

Another hour on from West Fork, we got to War Eagle. Going on a Friday is infinitely preferable to going on Saturday. We drove right up to the parking area and parked with minimal fuss. The boys and girls basketball teams from Elkins were directing parking to earn money for new uniforms.

At the main fair, there are four huge tents. Each tent has four rows of crafters inside. Booth after booth of (mostly) wonderful items. I do have to say, though, that I am not sure that the organizers juried as strictly this year as in years past. Some of the items for sale did not look to have significant hand work done on them, at least to my eyes. And I am not exactly a novice. But other items were amazing. I bought a box from Got an Idea Primitives, made out of beautiful wood. Judging from their website, it seems likely that the wood is salvaged, which just makes me happier. I am on a green kick right now, especially in terms of furniture. I hate particle board (and with my kids, it is really a waste of time to even bring particle board home), and I am too poor to afford "fine" furniture. So I have acquired a taste for mid-century vintage furniture to combat this. But salvaged from a house being torn down? Even better.

High school drama is not high school musical comedy

2008-10-14T17:56:00.000-07:00

High school drama, is, I have decided less fun than a high school musical comedy. There are fewer cute teachers and a lot less singing and dancing.

This all started because I suggested that Mea invite a group of friends to see the new Michael Cera movie because one of her friends felt Neglected. So my dear Mea's starts making up a guest list on Facebook, because that is where teenages do such things these days. God forbid they actually make phone calls. Anyway, said Neglected Friend has decided that since Mea invited people that Neglected Friend does not like, that obviously means that Mea is selfish and inconsiderate. Bear in mind, that only two of people that Mea invited Neglected Friend does not like. But one of them is Boyfriend to the ShyFriend that we drive home from band. The other one that Neglected Friend does not like is friends with every other person in the group. What evil must this disliked girl have perpetrated on Neglected Friend? She said something tacky a couple times in 7th grade.

So Mea is obviously a Bad Friend. Would you believe this consumes hours of my time? Mea tries to make peace. With everyone. She doesn't want to hurt people's feelings by leaving them out, which happens when you invite everyone you hang out with, but the people that Neglected Friend does not like. However, Neglected Friend makes so much drama out of every imagined slight, that she kind of bullies her other friends into doing things her way. On the bright side, one of their other friends got to hear the drama for the first couple of hours, cause Mea was with me and W and Miss O at 4-H. See why I want the singing and dancing? Really, whoever did the music for Wicked could totally do the music for High School Drama- The Musical Version. It couldn't be worse than Springtime for Hitler, right?

Speaking of 4-H, it has changed a bit since Doc Blanchard and Linda King, Newton County's extention agents, used to come to Mt. Judea school once a month to hold meetings. In those days, dad stopped by the courthouse in Jasper and picked up a project book, for free. I suspect they just pointed him to the file cabinet and told him to get what he wanted. These days, I have to order the materials online, and they are so not-free. I spent, seriously, like $50 on project books for my three kids! (Did I mention that these used to be FREE?). Anyway, Mea and W are both officers in the 4-H chapter, so I guess that we are commited, possibly for life. Oh, and my sister-in-law's sister is the co-leader of the chapter, so I was probably in trouble long before the election.

So...

2008-10-11T18:41:00.000-07:00

So my life is kind of settling out. No crises lately. Mind you, we are still living out of boxes, but no crises.

My home phone is now working. During my furor at AT&T, I switched to voice over ip (VoIP) through my new cable internet. (Which does not, incidentally, work as well as DSL. Download speed seems to be okay-- upload speed not so much). It has technically been connected since the 6th, but I couldn't get it to work. Changing a router setting and power cycling everything seems to have done the job, finally. Best part? $15 a month, for caller id, voice mail, call waiting, etc. Lot less money than I was paying. I just have to gut out the cable internet.

Todd & I went to the homecoming festivities. It was fun seeing former students on the homecoming floats & then we got plates & headed over the Honors tent to hang out with my friends. Except then the lousy country cover-band started playing. Loudly. And kept playing. Why on earth did someone book a band to play during the tailgating? We couldn't talk to each other. Believe me, none of us would have walked across the street to hear that band play (not that we would have needed to), but we had spent time planning to be together at Homecoming to hang out. And so we tried to get our visiting in during the breaks between the songs. Not fun. But the food was good.

W had a quiz bowl tournament today. Not that he competes, but he is an alternate. Anyway, when he got home, he only made a half-hearted effort to get in touch with us before walking home. Well, of course, it takes him forever. So we worry and worry and worry, and finally cut the tailgating short and headed off to look for him. Before we got out of the parking lot, though, (of course), Mea called to tell us that he made it home. But we still left. Didn't want to haul all that stuff back up to the tent.

Really, some days, the kids make me crazy.

So...

2008-10-02T15:32:00.001-07:00

Site visits are fun. I get to see what other teachers do and what other classes do. Tuesday, I went to Clarksville. Good teacher, great students. Good stuff.

I had the bright idea that I was going to head up to my parents' house from there, since it is in the same general area. (Clarksville is in Johnson County-- parents live in Newton).

I set my borrowed TomTom GPS for their house and took off. It led me down the road and out of town. Then it led me down a dirt road. I approached this road with a bit of trepidation. But I know, from growing up in the country, that sometimes short stretches of dirt road connect two paved roads. So I headed on. And on. After a while, I decided I must have done something wrong. Or if not, I still could not manage this; my spare is inoperable. Dirt roads are, well, bumpy. I was concerned about my tires. And my well-being. The van has been in less-than-perfect-running-order of late. So I check the settings on the GPS. Turns out, I had told it to take me to Vendor by the shortest route. So I told it to take me by the fastest. And I went down the road again. As I got more dirt roads, I told it to just take me back to Clarksville.

So it led me further into the woods. Eventually, I started noticing how pretty the area was, how clean, how... dust free. No trash in the brush. The road was a bit washed out (not that uncommon here); then I drove over a broken culvert. At this point, I start looking for a place to turn around. I gear down, because the hill is steep. Eventually, I get to the top of the hill. The map shows that it is not that much further, so I thought I might just follow it. Then I saw the tree. Across the road. So I turned around. The last thing I need to find is someone's patch, or worse, lab.

So I get to the bottom of the abandoned road, and just head for home. Dirt road or not, as long as I saw houses, I figured that I would be okay. At Hagersville, Strawberry Loop (the county road I eventually landed on) turned into a paved road, and I was home free on Hyw 123.

So I made it to my parents' house, where I saw for myself that my dad survived his eye surgery. He had, in his fearless way (I come by my idiocy naturally), punctured his eye brush hogging the field. His eye fluid was leaking, but he finished what he was doing, then he put the tractor up and drove home, then called Mom. Mom left school and came and got him & took him to town, where he saw the optomitrist. Who referred him to an opthamologist. Who sent him to Springfield for emergancy surgery. That was Monday. On Tuesday, when I saw him, he had one stitch, and some eyedrops. And could see out of that eye.

Fortunately, my trip home was less eventful.

Afterword on my DSL debacle

2008-09-26T19:51:00.000-07:00

So my phone company calls me today-- more than a month after I started trying to get DSL moved to my new house-- and tells me that they are ready to install it. Because, yes, indeed DSL is available at the neighborhood at the corner of Prince and Salem.

A cable modem and new Lynksys router after I had given up on them completely.

Evidently no one had actually been reading the notes on my account. Or if they were, no one knew what they meant.

On the bright side, the Rhea Lanna 1/2 price sale started today and I got a ton of stuff for my 6yo. And the best part? She has not yet figured out the difference between a consignment sale and Old Navy. Yes, I *am* savoring this while it lasts.

In other news...
So, in my interim position that I am not qualified to apply for when it comes open, I had to talk to someone today. In, like, an authoritative way. I am not sure that I am comfortable with that. I think I had rather confront plagiarizing students three times a week than have to be an administrator forever. I am much happier in my life when I am just arguing with students that yes, indeed, they do have something to say and they need to discover how they need to say it without me giving them an organizational plan.

My eight year old van is acting kind of iffy. I don't want a new one, because we are still paying for my husband's truck. I really would like to pay that off, then wait a year, and then buy a new family vehicle. So that probably means a substantial repair bill. And another two years.

So I really need to think of something good to counterbalance all this negative.
Let's see... I figured out why my groupwise was almost overflowing. I am forwarding my messages to my gmail account because groupwise was so wonky this summer. And all of those sent messages were cluttering up my server space. So I went from over 75% full to somewhere around 40%.

I talked with a couple guys I knew from college on Facebook today (besides the one I talk to regurlarly).

Mea had a good night at band. And her shy friend has a date for Homecoming. (Mea has a dress-- probably skipping the date).

All my kids are home and safe. And Todd dropped the boy off first so there was no awkwardness. (Boy who likes Mea needed a ride home from band; the shy friend always rides home with us).

Closing

2008-09-24T18:03:00.000-07:00

So we finally closed on September 17. We passed all the inspections. We paid all the cost over-runs. So now we officially own our house (well, us and the bank).

We walked away about even, with only the Home Depot credit card remaining for what we owe on the old house. I promptly spent money that I should have spent on something else on a flat panel television, because ~~I am a complete loser~~ I want to have a tv that I can hang on the wall rather than taking up our floor space.

Right now, Todd is installing the bracket. The $80 bracket, mind you. Who ever heard of an $80 bracket to hang a tv with? He has spent the last 30 minutes drilling one hole out of the three that has to be drilled.

I am, while he does this, trying to write a paper outlining the debate about what the content of FYC should be. Should it be literature? Essays? Student work? Works from the disciplines? Fun, right?

Great News!!!

2008-09-11T19:56:00.000-07:00

It took a plumber, but everything on the ADDI list is done.

As soon as the inspector can make it back, and he clears the house, then we can close. I can quit paying both my early occupancy fee AND my mortgage for the house I am selling (we let the buyers do some repairs in lieu of early occupancy).

I loved that little house on Oliver Street, but I am relieved that this will soon be over. I only need two things in life right now-- to close on our house and get my DSL hooked up.

To add to the fun, the city code inspector came and left my brother a list of code violations that their house has. Their house that they live in, that is... My parents actually own the house. So guess who is technically responsible for the work? My parents.

In other good news, I am going on the Honors retreat this weekend with the Alumni Association. I am taking my work that I need to get done, and should have peace and quiet to work on it.

I am presenting at the Ozarks Conference again this year. I have written the paper, of course, but I need to make it a presentation. Cut it to eight pages. And somehow explain Kenneth Burke to a lay audience.

I definitely need some time to work on it.

Forgetting, for the moment, the people who have real tragedy

2008-09-10T13:01:00.000-07:00

Three more calls to the lovely people who may or not provide DSL service to PRINCE and SALEM. If anyone in Conway has DSL, shouldn't it be the neighbourhoods at the corner of Prince and Salem?

Neither here nor there.

I have my PVX program on my husband's computer. Because Polycom is not made up of idiots. The software I downloaded worked with the license & serial numbers I already had. Now, if I can get the drivers all aligned on the Lenovo, I'll be in business. The Lenovo came with the Vista pre-installed. For a number of reasons, that needed to be changed. But, as I feared, (and the reason I put off installing XP for eight months) drivers for XP are not as easy to get together as they could be. So I am downloading drivers and configuring his computer. Tonight I think I will go over to Craig's house and test it, with him there to open ports for me :)

All this just to go to class tomorrow. Oh, but am I prepared? Not exactly. Because what have I been doing? Trying to get DSL set up.

Oh, what fools these mortals be!

2008-09-10T08:34:00.001-07:00

New chapter in the unending saga of how my high school friends have f-d up their lives:

Ark. man pleads to 2 deaths, gets 32 years

Last Update: 9/08 11:54 am

JASPER, Ark. (AP) - A Jasper resident has pleaded guilty to manslaughter and other crimes in the deaths of two men whose bodies were found two years after they went missing.

William Ashworth, 42, pleaded guilty Friday to two counts of manslaughter, two counts of abuse of a corpse, and a felony firearm violation toward sentence enhancement, Sheriff Keith Slape said Monday.

Ashworth was sentenced to a total of 40 years in prison, with eight years suspended, the sheriff said.

Ashworth originally was charged with capital murder. In pleading guilty, he admitted to the deaths of Timothy Ray Eddings, 38, and Tilton Housden, 22, then burning and hiding their bodies.

The two men, both from Jasper, were last seen alive Oct. 19, 2005, after they finished roofing a house in the Shiloh Mountain area of Newton County.

A confidential informant later told FBI agents about the deaths, and told police he helped move the men's bodies. He told police Ashworth doused the bodies with diesel and set them on fire. The remains were found Sept. 15, 2007, in private woods not far from where the two men had vanished.

The sheriff said Ashworth claimed the men had "come over to do harm to his house or his daughter."

Ashworth entered the pleas in a Newton County Circuit Court proceeding, held in Harrison last week. He was being held Monday in the county jail in Jasper, pending a bed in state prison, the sheriff said.

---

Information from: Harrison Daily Times, http://www.harrisondaily.com

Man slaughter??? Tell me how it is possibly manslaughter to murder two men and set them on fire? Self defence, my eye. If something is self defence, you shoot, call an ambulance, and then call the sheriff (or shoot, hide your stash, call an ambulance, and then call the sheriff). Either way, you only burn bodies if you are trying to hide something. Not if you are a victim.

As I've said on here before, Timothy was a acquaintance of mine. We didn't really hang out, but we always had something to say when we ran in to each other. I didn't know the other victim at all. While Timothy was by no means a role model, I liked him. And I think it is unfair that his murder will not likely see his entire sentence. In fact, he may spend less time in jail than Timothy's family spent wondering if he were ever coming back home.

DSL

2008-09-08T10:50:00.000-07:00

I have been trying to get my DSL installed since August 22. It took until August 30 to get my landline moved over, so then I could order DSL, right? So I tried to find a phone number to call. No dice. So I try to just upgrade my service, thinking that would generate an order... (Contact #1).

I accidentally click on something, and a chat pops up. So I ask the guy how to get my service moved.

He evidently could not understand me. He just typed away at his script, providing answers to somebody else's questions. (Contact #2).

On Monday, Labor Day, I call. The tech, who obviously also does not understand what the problem is, tells me that my DSL will be turned on at "precisely 8 o'clock" the next night. (Contact #3).

At 8:22 pm, I call the phone number again, and the smart system tells me that my order would be completed between 8am and 8pm on Wednesday. (Contact #4)

The next evening, after 8, I get no smart system information. Just that they are closed. (Contact #5).

So on Thursday, I call and get a human. I think she said that her name was Kathy (but I would bet money that her mama did not name her that). She told me that my DSL had been on since Tuesday, but since it was not working for me, she open up a trouble ticket and gave me the number. She also said that they needed to run a line test, and someone would call me back in about two hours, but do not use the line for anything for the next 30 minutes. (Contact #6)

About an hour later, I called back, trouble ticket number in hand, ready to hear that I needed a service call, because it was still not working.

Somehow, the heavens heard me, and I got someone who understood English, instead of just speaking it.

So he tells me that my DSL move order was never put in, and he transferred me to sales, who told me that hot places would freeze before I could get a same day hookup. I complained about line noise (fearful that a bad connection would keep the DSL from working once I got it). (Contact #7)

A repair tech shows up at my door at 8:05 on Sunday morning (he did call first). He brought me a filter for my phone-- the noise comes from my (non-working) DSL modem.

This morning, I call yet again, because I still do not have internet. Man (who's English is shaky) tells me that I cannot have DSL-- that all the accounts are taken. Well, first he tells me that it is not available in my area. I told him it was, too. (really adult there). Then he tells me that all the slots are taken. I ask to speak to his supervisor, he hangs up on me. (Contact #8).

So I call back. And this time, I don't talk when the smart alec smart system asks me if the phone number that I am calling from is the phone number I am calling about. Instead, I wait. I wait out the smart alec smart phone system. My reward? A woman who spoke English as a first language. And she understood what I was asking. She answered questions. And when she didn't know, she asked. And she found out. Turns out, the system had down my phone number as being unavailable for DSL, but not my address. So she changed my phone number. And promises me DSL by Thursday. (Contact #9).

I am hopeful, but not exactly holding my breath.

What was McCain thinking?!?

2008-09-02T17:55:00.000-07:00

One of the many stories about Sarah Palin...

This whole thing makes me angry on so many levels... Couldn't McCain find a woman whose family is not a Lifetime movie? I hear conservatives justifying her decisions and life, but good heavens! I realize that she is not applying for the position of mother of my children, and I also realize that if she were a father the conversation would be different.

But abstinence only ed?

US Republican presidential candidate John McCain, whose presumptive running mate disclosed that her unmarried 17-year-old daughter is pregnant, has opposed proposals to spend federal money on teen-pregnancy prevention programs and voted to require poor teenage mothers to stay in school or lose their welfare benefits.

What was she thinking? Did she need her 17 year old's pregnancy to know that this is a bad idea? Couldn't she have learned that from other people's mistakes?

Not that McCain is any better...

In 2005, McCain opposed a Senate Democratic proposal that would have spent tens of millions of dollars to pay for pregnancy prevention programs including education on emergency contraception such as the morning-after pill; teen-pregnancy prevention programs except abstinence-only education; and required insurance companies that cover Viagra also to pay for prescription contraception.

On the positive side:

Palin's fifth child, a son named Trig, was born in April with Down syndrome, a genetic abnormality that impedes physical, intellectual and language development. Conservatives supportive of Palin as McCain's running mate have praised her choice to deliver Trig even after the family learned about his condition during prenatal testing.

I respect the fact Palin chose to give birth to a child with disabilities, even though she knew ahead of time. Personally, I am pro-life (although I do not believe that I have any right imposing that belief on others, or judging others for believing differently). For myself, I chose not to have the kinds of prenatal testing that would show disorders. (Not that W's problems would have shown up anyway...) But having had a disabled child, I don't see where she is going to find time to be vice-president. I just don't. Todd, the conservative, says that Palin's husband will just take care of the baby. Again, what I remember is that Todd and I both went to a number of the doctor's appointments for W, just so we both knew what was going on.

Again, Palin is not applying for the position of mother, but of vice-president. So is it even fair to look at her mothering?

Sigh of relief

2008-08-29T10:44:00.000-07:00

For all intents and purposes, the moving is done.

Well, I said that. I just got an "upset" voice mail from the realtor. We need to clean up the back yard. Which we knew. It was dark outside last night. And she is bringing over cleaners to clean the inside. Which I don't really get. It is way cleaner than the house she sold us. WAY cleaner. We wiped everything down (oh... forgot to clean the toilets again-- we haven't been living there. And I bet I forgot to wipe down the sinks again. Ahhh. People kept using them!) I will grant that I didn't scrub everything, but it is cleaner than any house I have ever moved into.

And, of course, I have never mastered being a clean freak.

I have a headache. Of course, in all fairness, the headache began last night and hasn't really let up yet.

Updating (for Monda)

2008-08-28T14:30:00.000-07:00

So yesterday morning, I was in the bathroom. The toilet was not flushing just right. So I flushed again. And it started filling up closer to the rim. So I ask if anyone has seen the plunger, in our new house that we are not totally moved into. Olivia, who is six, found me the plunger. So I plunge. And plunge. And it started going down a bit... Aha! I thought I had solved it. So I flushed. And the toilet began overflowing, all over the bathroom floor. So I am standing there, in my underwear (because I don't want to get it on my clothes), trying to clean up the mess ('cause you don't want that in your woodwork). And I swear, I felt like I was up to my ankles in sewage (it could not have been that high, realistically, but I am talking about felt truth here...).

And then it was time to go to get my daughter to marching band practice. But, after I go clean up (in cold water, because the hot water is not yet on). So I clean up in cold water and then start trying to get my daughter out the door.

But of course, she is not dressed. And she cannot find clothes. And she is a nervous wreck, because she can't find the clothes that she wants to wear. And when she gets nervous, she gets physically ill.

So she stayed home.

So then, I call my realtor. Crying.

And she calls the owner (because we haven't yet closed. ADDI inspection. Long story), since we are doing early occupancy. And the owner, riding his shining white horse, agrees to fix the sewage (although he questions whether or not the line was really clogged-- men never believe that I know anything about plumbing). I do go pick up Mea, because everyone is uncomfortable with my teenage daughter being home with men coming in and out of the house. So I go pick up Mea, and we go to Stobys. Because god knows that after a morning like that, we need comfort food (pancakes).

And they found the shop towel that the boy-renters had flushed down the toilet. And then, the owner cleaned up the mess in the bathroom.

And then the other owner (the wife) rode in on her own white horse. She knows someone at the gas company, so they come in days before the "first available appointment" and turned on our natural gas (and thus our hot water).

So last night I took a hot shower. And that made me so happy.

Fresh pain

2008-08-26T07:38:00.000-07:00

So Todd has decided that everything inside the house is mine to finish packing and moving. He really is being a baby about this, and is making me crazy.

And gas? Friday. No hot water until Friday.

And the plumbing has problems. How on earth did the home inspector that we hired not bother to flush the toilets??? The house has a home warranty, which is great. Except the owners did not choose coverage for themselves while the process was ongoing, so they aren't covered. And we aren't covered until we sign the paperwork. So our choices are to live with the problems or pay to fix what a home warranty will cover.

But the house itself really is great. If my husband and I don't divorce over this move, all will be worth it.

So, when things move, they move

2008-08-22T18:55:00.000-07:00

Well, we move anyway. We are moving into our new house tomorrow. We can't paint, or rip up carpet or build walls. But we can move our stuff in.

And just for fun, AT&T is providing fresh hell. I can't get internet service until 8/30.

And I have class on Tuesday & Thursday. Those days are before the 30th.

So I guess I can have class here while we live in the other house.

Fun AND exciting.

I replaced my driver's license today. It disappeared last week when I got pulled over. Why did I get pulled over? As nearly as I can tell, because I pulled out in front of a cop. But the cops seemed to have been thinking that I was that I was drinking with my underage friend (Mea). They were being jerks, generally, and harassing us. But then they got another call. And I think they jacked my driver's license. It was going to have to be renewed in November anyway, and they went ahead and renewed it while they were replacing. So at least I don't have the trauma twice in three months.

Tomorrow, my dad and brother are coming to help us move. Not that we are actually packed, but we are moving the furniture anyway. Oh, and the house will not have water turned on until Monday. So, we will move all our stuff, and sleep here Sunday. And we will move our mattresses on Monday. Cable will be installed on Tuesday. Phones on Friday (along with Internet). Now all I have to take care of is natural gas. I think the hot water heater uses natural gas, which means it can't wait until winter.

Down to the wire

2008-08-17T06:42:00.000-07:00

I think we have finished most of the work on the exterior. I still have a couple of things to (re)caulk and some paint to touch up. Oh and cleaning up the overspray from the painter.

Now I have to catch up on the laundry I have been neglecting since I got back from Virginia.

I bought a nifty new toy.

This is the size of a Gideon Bible and will hold 250GB of data. (And, yes, mine is cherry red.) It even has a case (purchased separately-- like Barbie accessories) that looks like a Bible case. My university-issued laptop has been making me crazy because it is full, full, full. (I am so tempted to move all my data off and wipe it and reinstall everything.) So, I am moving stuff off-- everything but what I am currently working on. And some music. Let's not go crazy here.

Monday I am orienting our new adjuncts. I have packets for them. I am a great believer in packets. They have all been given sample assignments and a model syllabus already. Now I just have to read what I put together so that I am prepared to talk about it. Tomorrow. On top of the touch-up painting, caulking, and cleaning.

No pressure, right?

A Porch

2008-08-10T12:06:00.000-07:00

How can a front porch cause so many problems? We replaced the decking on the porch, because it was so ratty. Then the FHA inspector came and said that the paint had to go, because somewhere on there may be lead. So we have tried and tried to get the paint off. Now we have just taken the wood off. And have to do extreme cleanup.

It is hard to focus on the advantages of the new house at the moment.

Growing up in Cotton Country

2008-08-05T20:17:00.000-07:00

New audio essay. It does run a bit over 15 minutes. It is kind of modeled on a "This American Life" format, shortened for a class assignment.

"Growing Up in Cotton Country"

Song List:
Intro: Dixie performed by Sealed and Delivered Signed
Act I: Cotton Eye Joe from the Alan Lomax Collection
Act II: Cotton Crop Blues performed by Cotton James
Act III: Dixie performed by Black Oak Arkansas

So, Facebook has a purpose

2008-08-04T19:40:00.000-07:00

So, I discovered some of my old college friends on Facebook. Who knew? I paged through a huge list of people who graduated from SMSU the year I should have, and I knew a few of them. So I have happily spent the day in the past, remembering.

That is the good news. The bad news is that a truck ran into an electrical pole a few streets over on Saturday, and evidently sent an electrical surge to my poor computer. I had to get the power supply replaced in my desktop (the computer with hard drive space-- my laptop is full, full, full). And I had to replace my battery backup surge protector. This time I bought APC. So I hook everything back up with the new surge protector.

Then I tried to turn it on. An hour of gnashing of teeth later, I pulled out the video card, and lo and behold, it worked. I'll have to replace that at some point. But not today.

My new house

2008-07-31T20:07:00.001-07:00

As decorated by ~~my mother-in-law~~ the previous owners. The rental company that managed it had pictures up on their website. It does not look nearly this nice now, the carpets are stained and the walls are really banged up. But it has enough bedrooms and two living spaces.

Staircase bookcase

2008-07-31T19:27:00.001-07:00

So this is the house that we are buying. See that big peak over front door? I am thinking that could make a loft, for books. Or my sewing machine.

One of my professors had a party for the grad students. Her house was older, obviously, but had a really lovely cathedral ceiling and a loft library and a spiral staircase.

Anyway, remodeling plans are in the future. And first on my list may be the kitchen because it is tiny. Although book storage is an ongoing problem at my house...

But this might solve my problem. Look at all those books in that tiny otherwise-wasted space. I could so fill that up with books. Tonight, I mean. And it could lead up to the loft that I want to create. Although reading around about the process tells me that raising the ceilings might cost more than I want to spend (like $30-$40K).

Reckon I could build the staircase anyway? Maybe just to the attic. Hmmm.

George Carlin on Writing

2008-07-28T17:15:00.000-07:00

George Carlin in an interview just a few days before he passed away.

Coming clean

2008-07-28T06:46:00.000-07:00

I should come clean. The classes that I am taking this summer are fine. The professors have been very generous with the workload, and the subjects are really kind of interesting.

I am just so very tired of not being able to study what interests me.

American English was offered this summer, but not for us.

I keep hearing my classmates talk about the classes they have taken (such as a class on authorship!) that sound so interesting. And it is not as though I had chosen to take something else. I took what was offered.

Every single semester, I have taken what was offered. I made two choices in the entire program. Two. And one of those is going to cost me extra, since it is not required for graduation. But I need it on my transcript.

Oh, and I like my professors this summer. Shoot, I may ask one or both to be on my dissertation committee if something horrible, like a B, doesn't happen before the end of the semester.

A night of not-so-good food

2008-07-24T18:02:00.000-07:00

We thought that we would try a new place. One we had never tried before. It has the all the outward signs of being pretty good, despite looking a bit like a dive. It was in Ghent, where the rent is high, the parking lot was not empty. People with accents were eating there. There was a lot of tobacco smoke, but they placed us in a non-smoking room. See why we thought it had potential? Oh, and it was cheap. It said it served Greek food. I like Greek food.

So, Leslie and I both ordered the lamb kabob. Leslie took about two bites and said it tasted funny. I gamely kept dipping mine in the yogurt sauce and kept eating. Was that a mistake.

Two tums, a dose of peptol, and a pepcid later, I am starting to feel vaguely human.

Vaguely.

Copyright, yet again

2008-07-24T09:01:00.001-07:00

Here is a chart, explicitly explaining when items enter the public domain.

Which is to say, everything that I am interested in working with will be available sometime after I am dead.

The work that I would really like to do, work with the collected folktales of the Ozarks, I really can't, unless I track down a copyright holder. Because the people who were telling the stories are, of course, dead, so I can't track them down and ask them to tell me. And besides, the stories are copyrighted by someone else. Frustrating, frustrating.

2008-07-20T17:58:00.000-07:00

Today, we played, until it started raining. We ate brunch at Freemason Abbey, which is just gorgeous. The food is exellent. The service was perfect. The prices were not bad at all, and certainly were not bad for the level of service that we recieved. We indulged a bit, and had cheesecake for dessert. But we split one piece three ways, so it was less of an indulgance that it could have been. Oh, and that cheesecake? Brought in from New York.

The pictures, from top to bottom: 1. Leslie and me, in Freemason Abbey. 2. My plate from brunch. (salmon cake, on a bed of greens) 3. Leslie, me, and Mimi. 4. One of the Norfolk dolphins, with Freemason Abbey reflected in the glass.

We walked through the historic area today, which was beautiful. Parts of the old part of town still have their brick streets. Even the warehouses are pretty.
Of course, then it started to rain. Second day in a row that it did that. Yesterday, we went out to the botanical gardens, but were rained out of there, too. But we consoled ourselves in McArthur Mall.

Good god. Copyright again

2008-07-15T08:34:00.000-07:00

The copyright discussion is not any more entertaining today than it was last time (or the time before) or even MSTA back in 2000.

So, on to an update.

First of all, my house sold. We signed papers on Saturday. There are inspection hoops to jump through, but it should be a done deal. Less money than I hoped for, but enough to move on.

I survived my trip to Virginia. The weather was mostly cooperative; only a 30 minute delay.
Leslie picked me up at the airport, and warned me that the rooms were bare-- the three hots and a cot were reduced to a stripped bed. No microwave, no sheets, no mini-fridge, no towels--- not even pillows for gosh's sake.

So I went to Target and Walmart and bought linens and pillows. And Leslie bought a mini-fridge. We got the fridge back to the dorm, and it had a huge dent in the side. She wanted to take it back on Monday, but white trash that I am, I talked her into waiting until the last day. No point in overly complicating things.

Project Runway starts its new season tomorrow. And do we have a television? Only in the lounge. How badly do I want to torment those poor foreign nationals to try to watch it?

I'll probably just catch the re-runs. Although, one of the designers is from Mabelvale. Mabelvale! How does a designer live in Mabelvale, Arkansas?

My classes are blah. They are not classes that I wanted to take. But they fulfill my residency requirement.

Back to class, I suppose.

What I have been reading...

2008-07-10T18:33:00.000-07:00

Besides the textbooks, I mean. I have been reading Generation Y'all, written by the daughter of one my co-workers (one I like and visit with periodically). Like me, Emily had her first baby obscenely young. While I was married, instead of single, a lot of what she writes about seems really, really familiar. Mea was born when I was 21 & W was born when I was 23. I drug the kids across campus many days when I could not get a sitter & was too poor for daycare. The lack of stroller accessibility on campus does not appear to have changed. I am living, breathing proof that it is do-able to finish college with babies. Do-albe, but not easy.

Let's do the time warp again...

2008-07-08T14:58:00.000-07:00

So I haven't written in what? Nearly a month? I guess it is really just a couple of weeks. I have started back to school-- headed off to PhD camp next week. Two weeks in Virginia, sans kids, so maybe I can catch up. Maybe I can even get ahead?

I am only a week in, and am so sick of my classes I could die. Truthfully, the main problem is the lack of relevance. One class is a reprise of what I took in the spring. While interesting, it does not really add anything to what I did then. The other will probably help with a grant I want help write for our writing center. Regardless, I had rather take something that will count toward graduation. Which neither of them do. I have already taken all my electives. So, all this summer does is let me fulfill my "on campus" requirement.

Okay, enough ranting.

My house is nearly done. I should post pictures.
It looks darling and we have two "second-lookers" scheduled this evening. I hope one of them makes an offer. I am so tired of picking up my house. I have threatened my children that if they use "real" cups instead of disposable ones, I will maim them. I am so tired of chasing after them to put their dirty dishes in the dishwasher. And yes, I do know that by doing that I am depriving them of learning to do it themselves. But I also know that shrieking like a banshee when potential buyers are driving up is not a way to sell a house, even though the children may learn a great lesson from it.

Todd and the kids went with dad to the Buffalo today. (We drove up to mom and dad's yesterday). They are out of the house and so it is peaceful.

In my old age (and having spent too much time painting lately), I have turned into a Muppephone. The "ow!" sound that escapes my body when I stand up is involuntary and really should fit into a Marvin Suggs rendition of Lady of Spain. Of course, Statler and Waldorf would probably boo me off the stage.

So, more painting

2008-06-26T21:49:00.000-07:00

Just finished up the master bath. I had it kind of botched, really, with two different shades of green and rough drywall. And the top two feet of the walls were siding that was peeling and not very nice. So I scraped peeling paint and textured the drywall. And filled rough spots. And primed, and painted.

I hurt.

And the ceiling is still peeling. We are just going to put up new bead board and be done with it. I cannot scrape and sand 100 square feet of ceiling. Just can't. I can already hardly breath from the sanding, etc. that we have already done. Mea has been a trooper, doing what work that she could and keeping me company when she couldn't.

The color is an awful pale apricot. It looks so... boring. But it is done. And it looks more "finished" than it did before. There is some fiddly bits around the shower to sort out, probably with caulk. I sort out a lot of things with caulk.

My closet is located inside my bathroom-- not the best plan, but it is an old house. Much of it does not appear to be planned. Anyway, now all the stuff that I pulled out on Tuesday has to go back in. And the house needs to be straighted up, because I have so not been picking up since I started on the latest round of paint. So there is laundry to be done and kid stuff to hide.

And a trip to the mother-in-law's to pack for.

Yes, gentle reader, my husband has scheduled a trip to see his mother. Neil Gaiman canceled his reading in Tulsa, so he figured that it couldn't get much worse, so we are packing up the minivan with all three kids and my husband's breathing machine and heading to southeast Missouri in the heat of the summer.

And tomorrow, I must finish the tile in the other bathroom. Todd finally put the cement board around the window so I can (did I mention that I started this job in April?), so I need to get that done. Why the push to finish up all my home improvement projects? My classes start on Monday. Only six hours this summer (as opposed to nine last summer-- that was insane), but I am interested in neither, really. Oh, and I have an article to co-write in the next two weeks.

It is after midnight, so I suppose I should go to bed. So I guess I will.

My turn with the funeral post...

2008-06-19T13:47:00.000-07:00

Today I went to Arvilla Smith's funeral. Arvilla and I were not that close, but she and my great-grandmother were. Arvilla came from a big family, and, as I understand it, kind of got lost in the crowd. My granny (the afore mentioned great-grandmother) was raising her grand daughter, Patsy, who was about the same age, and so Arvilla kind of adopted the family.

So Arvilla was always around. While she was not technically related, I saw her more often that I did many of her cousins (except Wardena's kids mentioned in the Pond story recently).

We went to my granny's on Sundays, after church and after lunch. About every month or two, Arvilla would be there. As far as I know, she never came empty handed. She was always bringing a pie, or flowers, or something. When granny got older and couldn't take care of herself, Arvilla got a job with the Area Agency on Aging so that she could come and get paid to take care of her. Arvilla is the only person I know that could bake an apple pie that tasted like my granny's. And I think granny had her bake the pies for us, really. She liked circus peanuts (which I still like stale, because that is how granny's always were, because she stored them on top of the refrigerator).

Eventually, Arvilla got a different job-- one that was full time with benefits. Which is a good thing, because, like everyone I love, she got cancer. She won a couple of rounds, but with cancer, you always lose the war. Cancer won June 15.

It is not that Arvilla and I were that close, really. I have only seen her a handful of times since my granny died. But I still loved her, if that makes any sense. When she came to my mamaw and papaw's house after my papaw died, we all cried together. She came to the house for my mamaw's funeral as well. She was part of the family. Any of us would have done anything for her.
And more than herself, personally, she is part of my childhood-- my life at "home." That life keeps slipping further and further away. I used to kid myself and say that I would move home, if I could get a job that paid anything, but Todd was actually offered a job there a couple of years back that he turned down. That is not who I am any more.

But it is hard watching that world evaporate. Arvilla's kids are not like her (and the one that is most like her lives in Greenbrier, not at home). My mom is not like her granny. And I am not really like either one. I wish I could capture that world, because there is no where like it. It was anachronism twenty years ago, so it would be even more so now.

But, oh, how I wish it weren't.

Disappointment

2008-06-16T15:25:00.000-07:00

Neil Gaiman won't be coming to Tulsa. Evidently my tickets will be refunded.

And the only people who have looked at my house (so far) can't really afford it. (In the multilist, it is #10196134). And, turns out, real estate has been slower this June than normal.

Disappointing.

On the up side, we went to Branson yesterday to take the kids to Silver Dollar City to celebrate surviving putting the house on the market. After the kids rode the rides for a couple of hours, we went to Bass. And Bass was having a sale. I got a couple pair of shoes and two linen dresses and a woven top. I love the dresses. They will be nice and cool this summer. And they were 70% off. And Todd got some shoes, too. But they are boy shoes and much less interesting. So that was lovely. And then we ate in Harrison and then we came home.

Actually, only some of us came home. Mea went to church camp. AG church camp. That just makes me smile a little bit. Her grandparents sent her. I don't think I could have gotten her there with a cattle prod. Why? You may well ask. For one thing, their website is terrible. For another, their rules are restrictive. Here is a sample from their application:

Multi-media players, firearms, knives, weapons, communicative devices or clothing and other articles displaying questionable content are NOT allowed.

Cell phones are not allowed. Students caught using cell phones will have their phones confiscated until checkout on Friday. The AR DISTRICT will not be responsible for lost or stolen cell phones.

DRESS CODE -
ALL CLOTHING MUST BE NO SHORTER THAN 2” ABOVE THE KNEE.
Shorts can be worn during the day. Absolutely NO spandex shorts, boxer shorts, or shorts shorter than 2” above the knee.
Abbreviated attire such as half shirts, tank tops, sundresses, spaghetti straps or crop shirts will not be allowed, and should be left at home.
Shirts and dresses that have ANY part of the back missing will not be allowed. NO oversized armholes or sides cut out of shirts.
Tight fitting clothing (pants and shirts) should be left at home. If you bring it, you will be asked to change. ALL CLOTHING MUST BE MODEST.
Shoes must be worn at all times. Shoes that cover the whole foot must be worn while riding go-carts.
For evening services, young ladies may wear modest dresses or long pants. Young men must wear long pants (this means clean and with no holes in them) and a shirt. Absolutely no shorts for evening services!
If in doubt, DON’T BRING IT!

Mea dresses pretty modestly for a 15 year old, but these rules may hearken back to 1955... We had to go shopping so that she would have some shorts that she could wear.

Actually, the dress code is less restrictive that when I attended in the 80s. Back then, shorts were verboten, but we could wear culottes. My mother, who only sews under extreme duress made me culottes because she could not stand the thought of sending me to Hot Springs in the summer in jeans. They were terrible, but I was sent back to my room to change one day because they were too short! So someone had something wrong with them, and I am pretty sure that it was not my mother. Ah, they joys of religious education.

And W? He is hiding out at Mom's. He had no desire to come home and not mess up his room.

The Pond

2008-06-06T17:11:00.000-07:00

Mike, from the National Writing Project of Central Arkansas, (and who is not my cousin) came to our institute on Monday and led us in some great writing exercises.

One was to draw a map of where we grew up and then mark places where interesting things happened. Then write about one or more interesting places.

These are the assignments that I never try, because I cannot imagine them working, but I felt compelled to play along, since I had invited him and I was in charge (at least nominally) of the institute.

Anyway, this is what I wrote about...

The pond was forbidden. Partly because it was nasty. I mean, we could see the cows standing in it, so we knew it was foul. The other reason is that my mother and my grandmother both had a deep abiding terror of us drowning.

Of course, that made it all the more interesting.

On the whole hilltop, my brother and I were the only kids. In the days before VCRs and satellite tv, boredom was our constant enemy. My cousin, Mike -- his parents called him Julio for some reason I could never fathom-- occasionally came over to our grandparents' house. We lived for these visits. Mike was an expert at keeping boredom at bay.

So when he came over, us kids would go outside and play. Some places, of course, were off limits. Off limits were the chicken house, the "smoke house," the garden, the haybarn, the hog barn, the old barn and the pond. Those were places where work was done-- except the old barn and the pond. They were just dangerous. Work, or anything resembling work, we were content to avoid.

Danger was another matter.

We used to sneak over to the old barn. It was built in the 19th century, about the same time my Granny's house was built. The barn lost its roof to one of the very few wind storms that we had in the Ozarks back when I was too young to wander the farm by myself. We weren't, however, stupid-- just daring. We stuck to the log pens where the roof was totally gone rather than where the roof was only partially gone. But my grandpa still scolded us every time he caught us there.

The pond was also forbidden. It was spring fed, so it always had water in it. The spring wasn't big enough to cause the water to move a lot. Still, the orange water beckoned us. We knew that we would be beaten if we were caught playing in the water, tempting as that was on an un-airconditioned July day in Arkansas. So instead we haunted the edges.

One summer, we had enough of a drought that Mike decided that we could get to the stump that was in the pond. This was no ordinary stump, you understand, but a giant stump that was the remains of an ancient tree. It was not intact, but instead had a multitude of levels supported by gigantic roots suspending it as an island in the pond.

We wanted to conquer that stump. It was just big enough for the three of us to sit on it. So we waited until the grown-ups were busy talking about who had the best tomatoes on the creek and what calves might be selling for in the fall to head out for the pond to make that stump into our domain.

We stood by the edge of the pond. There was a rock positioned fortuitously between the shore and the stump. If we could just stretch our legs out far enough, we could catch that rock and jump over to the stump. Mike and I were not quite sure that we could do it, so we put my little brother up to trying. Craig would do anything to win our approval, so he blithely bounced over. Mike and I followed.

Everything we talked about sitting on that stump, every stupid game we played crackled with the excitement of sitting on our perch that was both surrounded by the pond and above it. We did this every time Mike came over that summer.

Until, of course, our grandfather caught us. Our pleas that we were in no danger went unheeded. We were supervised for the rest of the summer.

And so boredom defeated us. That summer.

There are details here that I made up, but the pond, the stump, and the barns were real.

House for sale update...

2008-06-06T16:56:00.000-07:00

So Wednesday afternoon, I came home and the house looked worse than it did when I left. Todd and Mea decided to hook up the other room-sized air conditioner, and they broke a window pane. Then spent all day cleaning it up. So I called my realtor and asked her not to come.

Today, she could have come, even though the house is far from perfect. But she was busy, so is coming in the morning.

So, still selling my house

2008-06-02T15:51:00.000-07:00

My Realtor probably thinks that we are lying to her. That we don't really intend to sell. That we are the most disorganized people on the face of the planet (well, that part is true anyway).

Well, she just called. She's coming by on Wednesday to advise about what our priorities should be.

Now I am off to pack up more of Miss O's stuff. Did I mention that that baby has more stuff than I do? Every time I look up, there is another box of her crap to pack up.

New post

2008-05-19T19:39:00.000-07:00

I stabbed myself installing lino tiles in Mea's room. That makes me an idiot. I stuck a band-aid on in instead of going to the emergency room to get stitches because it was still attached. (Mea laughs as I write this, but I don't think it's funny).

But, on the bright side, I found the makeup that both Clinique counters in town swear has been discontinued. Where did I track down this elusive makeup? Ebay? A flea market? An obscure foreign makeup website? Nope. The Clinique website. And what makeup product do I so diligently seek? A special shade of lipstick? A particular eye shadow? Volumizing mascara? Nope. City Stick foundation. I am feeling really boring as I write this... How lame is it to be this excited to buy foundation? (And yes, I do wear it, lots of times, especially at the beginning of a semester-- not so much after mid-term). And next semester, I have to talk to grown-ups, not just students. So I'll have to wear some makeup, right?

Moving before moving

2008-05-18T17:04:00.000-07:00

So we have told our realtor that she can walk through our house on Wednesday.

That sentence causes my chest to tighten.

We have done some landscaping in our front yard.

We have hauled out several pickup loads full of stuff.

Our house does not look any less full.

Right now, it sounds like a dandy idea to tell her that we need a month. Or three.

We have to empty rooms in order to paint.

We have to paint. No option.

And now Olivia is crying. Dissolved on the floor. And I am not sure I care why. She needs to go to bed.

I need to go to bed. Barring that, I need to do some laundry.

Maybe I should dissolve on the floor crying. But I am pretty sure no one would care why.